The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

In politics, life can turn on a dime.

Just last week the governing Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) looked poised to squeak out another Election Day winner if for no other reason than the opposition parties (all 50,000 of them) were fighting, scratching and going for each other’s throats.

This week, the Free National Movement (FNM) sought to move beyond the fray by naming a few high profile candidates to its roster of MP wannabes, and just like that PLP chairman Bradley Roberts rose from his slumber huffing and puffing, ready to blow the FNM’s house away.

One man’s trash

I have to hand it to FNM leader Dr Hubert Minnis; he sure is resilient.

Think about it. In four short years the PLP has dropped verbal blows on him in Parliament, Loretta Butler-Turner repeatedly challenged him, Andre Rollins berated him in public, six of his own MPs tried to oust him, several of his senators were forced to resign their seats (in shame, some would say) and even ‘Toggie and Bobo’ got him caught up in a scandal.

Yet with all that drama and dysfunction, in less than a week since ‘taking guff’ off the no-seat wonders in the Democratic National Alliance (DNA), Minnis is still somehow managing to give the politically astute Bradley Roberts conniptions.

After rumours started circulating that high profile names in the community such as Dionisio D’Aguilar, Marvin Dames and talk show host Jeff Lloyd were ready to hitch their political wagons to Minnis and the FNM, Mr Roberts immediately went into ‘Big Bad Brad’ mode, accusing Dr Minnis of selling out to Baha Mar developer Sarkis Izmirlian.

His proof? All of the aforementioned potential candidates at one point or other worked with and for Baha Mar.

What Mr Roberts forgot to mention is that Baha Mar, when it actually looked like something that would come to fruition, made it a point to seek out the ‘best and brightest’. What he also neglected to point out in his latest rant is that several of his own party members, who are now sitting up comfy in Cabinet, also worked for and with Mr Izmirlian until it became politically expedient to work against him.

So this is where we find ourselves, once again being force fed garbage from the PLP chairman who wants to set the next race up as a showdown between the already battered Izmirlian and the government.

He wants us to believe that these gentlemen (who have all contributed to their country and have generally positive name recognition) are nothing more than pawns in a game being played by the ‘boogeyman’ of Lyford Cay and Dr Doolittle’s FNM.

I have no idea whether or not Izmirlian is a financial contributor to the FNM.

But I do know it takes a lot of testicular fortitude for the party that allegedly pocketed millions from another eccentric Lyford Cay billionaire to buy T-shirts, not to mention the ‘numbers boys’ to criticise anyone.

If Dr Minnis does manage to scrap together a few shekels to run a competitive race by pulling in self-financed, quality candidates then he would have pulled off another shrewd political move. Much to the PLP’s chagrin.

I had honestly hoped that, by 2017, we would be beyond a person having to be financially well off to be considered a serious candidate but after decades of being plied with free food, free drinks and mindless entertainment, the average Bahamian voter ‘een dere yet’.

Let’s face it, we are not politically mature. We want huge rallies, 500ft tour buses (I see you, DNA) and 10 million T-shirts destined for the trash the day after elections.

We want our ‘free tings’ and we want to align ourselves with ‘winners’.

That’s one reason Dr Minnis’ latest move is worrisome to the PLP. Most of the candidates the PLP is offering have already proven themselves incompetent.

And by proclaiming himself the only person talented enough to lead the PLP, Mr Christie has reinforced that narrative.

On the other hand, Dr Minnis has not proven himself competent, but at least he can dance and he seems willing to surround himself with some talent. Which has (once again) put him back in the race.

Bradley Roberts once quipped that if he wanted to know ‘how to wash clothes’ he would call Mr D’Aguilar.

Perhaps now would be a good time to pick up the phone, since he has soiled himself at the mere mention of D’Aguilar’s name, not to mention the bundles of PLP dirty laundry piling up yet to be aired.

Nose plug please!

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net