The Tribune

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

There’s nothing more “political” than office parties, especially office Christmas parties.

So to ensure all you office party goers remain “politically correct” and don’t end up either in court, incarcerated, hospitalised or all of the above, here’s my Top Ten list of what not to do at your office Christmas party, because we all know, work rules still apply.

1. GETTING INEBRIATED (DRUNK)

It’s a party, so you can expect a lot of people to get a bit tipsy.

However, dancing on the bar or starting a fight is still unacceptable.

As long as you don’t do anything that is illegal, then the worst punishment you will have is being “shame” well into the New Year.

If the company puts on a “open bar” employees might feel that they cannot be held responsible, but they can.

So no need to show your “jungaliss” side.

2. ASKING FOR A RAISE

There is a time and a place to negotiate a change in your pay, the Christmas party is not it!

Drunken slurring about how you’re the best employee to your boss while spilling your drink will not have the desired effect in securing your raise.

3. DON’T INVITE FRIENDS TO THE OPEN BAR

The open bar is considered a gift from the employer to the employees, bringing your friends will make you “persona non grata”.

4. MAKING ADVANCES

An employer may be ultimately responsible for the actions of its employees at a Christmas party, just as it may be responsible for the actions of its employees in the workplace.

So no “cutting up” with the bosses wife or secretary for that matter.

Nor any of your colleagues’ signifigant other.

Neither any of your co workers directly. I don’t want to see anybody “Frankened”, “Lauered” or “Simmonsed” in the process.

5. DON’T ARRIVE OR LEAVE EARLY

The office party is not as easy an event for some as it is for others.

In a multi-cultural society some might argue it is debatable whether or not the concept of the Christmas party is outdated.

In anycase, always remember to be “fashionably” late and leave early, right ahead of the staff, and you won’t be in violation of office party etiquette.

6. NO MAN LIKERY OR GOSSPING

After a few drinks, “liquid courage” might make people more talkative, but putting down colleagues or gossiping is never cool.

You don’t know if the person you are talking to will repat your conversation, which could lead to awkward conversations when you sober up and have to face people in the office.

7. FUSSING AND FIGHTING

Not surprisingly, fighting constitutes gross misconduct, which should be dealt with formally under a company’s disciplinary procedures.

Advice to anyone thinking of getting involved in one is these – it will most likely lead to your firing.

8. NO TALKING SHOP

Talk shop and you might find you have a lot of very short conversations.

The Christmas party is a chance to talk with colleagues, but not about work. You don’t want to be known as “Boring Brad.”

9. DON’T OVERLOAD YOUR PLATE

The food is for everyone. So make sure it lasts the night.

You want to have something to eat, especially if you’re drinking, but you don’t want to be the person at fault for why someone else hasn’t got any macaroni.

“Toting” however is completly acceptable.

10. DANCE MACHINE

In the old millennium, looking lost on the dance floor might have been largely forgotten as memories faded.

Today, you can guarantee those “moves” could haunt you for a very long time.

Social media is a wicked beast, and cellphone cameras are everywhere!

Oh and before I forget, here’s a bonus tip, don’t photo copy parts of your body, period.

Until next week, party on!