The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

Another week, another round of crazy thanks to politicians and (surprisingly) professors alike. To be blunt, quite a few people with high profile platforms were “talking fool” over the past few days.

If you missed most of this in the news, count yourself lucky - you probably saved some grey matter the rest of us lost trying to figure out what’s really going on.

But just in case you’re still curious (and have some brain cells to spare), allow me to share two of the most cringeworthy quotes from the week that was.

“Branville McCartney threw me under the bus; despite our conversations”

• Loretta Butler-Turner, Opposition Leader

Okay, we all knew that ‘Branetta’ wouldn’t make it six months. What we didn’t know was that even after we pointed out publicly the perilous position Mrs Butler-Turner had put her political career in (by teaming with Democratic National Alliance leader McCartney) she would allow herself to be painted as the victim again.

Yet, here we are. And here LBT is, paintbrush in hand, body under the jitney.

Even if I believe Butler-Turner’s latest ‘I was betrayed’ claim, the fact of the matter is she threw Free National Leader Dr Minnis under the bus for being a so-called ‘weak leader’ only to allow an even weaker leader to toss her under the Big Green Machine. It begs the question: What strong leader would give away the keys to the bus in the first place?

Suffice it to say Facebook is having a field day with this latest Branetta debacle.

LBT’s career is officially on vacation, and Branville McCartney will most likely resign from Parliament for the second time, in as many terms, under two separate leaders. Are DNAs ready to acknowledge that perhaps their power-hungry leader may be a part of the problem? Probably not. In the word of Donald J Trump, ‘Sad!’

“Register. And spoil the ballot with me”

• Professor Ian Strachan, University of The Bahamas

Professors Dr Ian Strachan and Dr Nicolette Bethel, of the newly minted University of The Bahamas fame, reportedly advised apathetic Bahamians to summon the necessary strength (and wardrobe) needed to register to vote only to show up on Election Day, tote long voting lines and ... (wait for it) ... spoil their ballots.

Yes, this actually happened.

As I type this, both professors are being excoriated on social media for what some are calling the dumbest, most undemocratic idea ever to come out of COB ... er ... UB.

In a short Facebook post, Dr Strachan defended his stance by labelling it a ‘protest’ vote.

Has he been asleep at the wheel while the world has gone crazy the last few weeks? Bahamians have taken to the streets in marches to protest Christie’s policies. Americans have taken to the streets to protest Trump’s policies. Almost everyone in the world is marching for or against something. What they’re not doing is spoiling ballots.

It’s been 1,739 days since ‘Kool PC’ took over the government and started us on this rickety path to poverty. Do you honestly think after waiting four years, nine months and two days (so far) to get a do-over Bahamians are ‘fool enough’ to spoil their ballots? On purpose?

March, boycott, agitate or corner your MP with your grocery cart in the supermarket - these are all better ideas than spoiling a ballot in protest. Truth be told, if the professors were really serious about affecting change, the University of the Bahamas would mirror some of the best universities in the US that release polling data to help voters get a better picture of where things stand. Maybe, just maybe, if Bahamians had real hard data showing how the FNM/DNA split will affect the next general election better choices can be made.

Simply playing the spoilsport or going to the beach is easy. Working towards change is hard.

I haven’t decided who I will vote for yet but I’m sure it won’t be Harambe (may he rest in peace).

The professors can do as they please, but for the sake of the ‘chirren’ please spoil your ballot by yourself. I refuse to have a defeatist attitude before I’m actually defeated. And I refuse to wait another 248 weeks (and counting). In other words, there’s no way I’m spoiling a chance that comes around only once every half decade.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net