The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

We are a hostage to our fears. Whether it is the fear of rejection, humiliation or the fear of failure, fear is our most primal emotion. Even so, we are not born fearful but fearless.

Still, you cannot access your fearlessness without first facing your fears. The accepted mantra for success is feeling the fear but forging ahead anyway.

Fear being our most primal emotion means that we are more emotionally afraid than we are physically or mentally incapable. As a result, people do not do the ‘darn ting’ not because they cannot do it, but more because they are too afraid of failing at it. The irony here is that without failure there would be no success. The very fact that failure exists tells us that the success is on the other side of the coin. One cannot exist without the other.

The big elephant in the room is, “What are you so afraid of failing at that you are not even willing to try?”

The thing that you must understand about failure is that it is not an ending but rather a beginning. Everything that ever becomes successful began in the laboratory of failure.

Before we talk about some of the popular success stories of how people we know conquered fear, let’s look at babies. Remember, we are all born small and fragile, initially unable to walk, talk etcetera. One small failure after another and we learn to walk, talk and grow. Despite our smallness, we keep trying without regard until we master basic human functions.

Consider that Henry Ford and Walt Disney began their success in the laboratory of failure. Ford had only a sixth-grade education, while Disney’s dream to build a theme park was initially turned down by numerous financial institutions.

Today, we revel in the success of the Ford and Disney brands. However, neither was an overnight success.

This quality of success results from a willingness to look fear square in the eye and choosing to do it anyway. What great opportunity is waiting for you on the other side of fear?

Fear is like a massive brick wall that keeps many a prisoner. Brick walls, however, exists for one reason; they indicate how badly you really want a thing, how badly you want to succeed. Wanting it,badly enough motivates you to get a sledgehammer and knock that wall out of your way.

If you think the fear of failure produces some strong emotions you should try on the feeling of success. It is much more freeing, influential and empowering.

This reminds me of the time I felt impelled to leave my job in the public service and go into banking. Everything that I knew told me that I wasn’t good enough to work in the bank and I would fail miserably. The fear of failing literally kept me stuck on the shore of uncertainty, even too afraid to submit my resume.

Then something hit me like Mack truck. What if I was wrong and was actually good enough to get the job? Then by not sending out my resume I wasn’t only endorsing my fear of failure, but more importantly, I was hindering my chance at success. In that moment I decided to feel the fear but do it anyway. In the end, I successfully got the job.

By knocking down that first brick wall of fear, I got a taste of success. This gave me the courage to knock down wall after wall as I moved through my banking career and transitioned into coaching/counselling.

The bottom line is that the only real fear of failure in life is the failure to consistently try. As the great writer William Shakespeare puts it: “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

Indeed, Shakespeare offers some valuable insight regarding how fear limits our unleashing of great ideas.

Leader to leader, don’t let the fear of failure hold you a prisoner. Find your fearlessness and knock down that brick wall. By facing you fears you liberate yourself to lead a life that is fulfilling and fearless. These are the qualities for living an empowered life. Yes, you definitely can do it.

What do you think?

Please send your comments to coaching242@yahoo.com or 429-6770.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach, communication and leadership expert. Visit www.talktomichellemiller.com or call 1-888-620-7894; mail can be sent to PO Box CB-13060.