The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

The ‘Green Room’ in any comedy club can be extremely brutal, with comedians trading jabs and barbs.

Over my 19-year career as professional stand up comedian I’ve taken my fair share from my American counterparts, who were working at Jokers Wild, after they read the dailies.

After recent events globally and locally, it’s definitely a stalemate now, my American friends!

We both have less than desirable governments.

Spitting image

Sadly, neither of our governments are any better than the other. In fact, they almost mirror each other.

Both run on “alternative facts”, both are flawed and embattled and both embarrass themselves and the political process over and repeatedly.

All while offering no solution to their respective nations’ urgent, pertinent issues.

Both are also insanely funny, whether it’s their antics in the House of Assembly or on the local talk radio circuit, or live on CNN or MSNBC. They all seem to have contracted and are suffering from “hoof in mouth” disease. President Trump and Prime Minister Christie alike.

Our present administration and Her Majesty’s loyal Opposition are both a comedian’s dream: you can’t write the things our local politicos do or say these days.

Trump gets a reprieve

Now if you are expecting me to go in on President Trump this week, it’s not going to happen.

It will happen in short order; there’s enough of his lunacy to go around.

I will leave President Trump to continue his war against immigrants.

I wonder if Trump knows two out of three of his wives were immigrants.

Mail order brides or not, they are still immigrants!

Further proof immigrants are needed, to do the jobs Americans refuse to do.

See it’s too easy.

Next week’s Comic’s View is for that: this week I’m giving my undivided attention to the “smorgasbord” of local, political moments of “loopyness” and “alternative facts”.

Three blind mice

That old nursery rhyme comes to mind every time I see another press conference with the PM, the right honorable Perry Christie, Minister of National Security Dr B J Nottage and Commissioner of Police Ellison Greenslade.

As they say in the hood, ‘What type psych, y’all runnin’ on wit’ again’?

While COP Greenslade claims crime is under control in one breath, the PM and Minister of National Security openly contradict him, claiming it’s “like the Wild West” as if they are both experts on crime and gang culture.

Wait now, hold on a minute ... this can’t be the same two PLP ‘Golden Boys’ who while in opposition, prior to the 2012 elections, were supporting the erection of billboards, with the murder count, and crime statistics under the FNM administration, for the world to see.

Bahamians were disgusted by it, tourists visiting were shocked and frightened by the statistics on those billboards (so, essentially, the world did see, literally.)

Now, here we are in 2017, with a record number of murders under the PLP, (where are your billboards now?) crime is out of control and all the citizenry can get from the “shot callers” is “we have yet another plan to deal with crime”.

Mind you, while some of the new initiatives implemented look good on paper (once the RBPF and RBDF stop infighting each other for bragging rights) just please spare us the “verbal diarrhea” and get us some results.

I mean, politicians should at least watch a few episodes of “The First 48” before they tell the police how to do their jobs.

How about the politicians show us where the VAT money really went, instead of playing ‘cops and robbers’ with our nations safety.

Boundaries, boundaries boundaries

If there’s anybody out there that can explain the new boundaries cut, get at me.

I’m being generous, that was more like a “boundaries chop”.

Nonetheless you must give the PM credit: like him or not, he’s one savvy political animal. He knows how to play the game and stack the deck in his favour.

If I’m not mistaken, I went to bed in Fort Charlotte and woke up in Mount Moriah.

Or was it the other way around?

I can’t believe I’m saying this ... where are Richard Lightbourn and Andre Rollins when you need them?

Until next week I will leave you with this from Thomas Jefferson: “Most bad government has grown out of too much government.”