Sancheska and Renaldo Dorsett (sdorsett@tribunemedia.net, rdorsett@tribunemedia.net)
Wild Card Round Awards
The “We’ll Do Better If You Give Us Another Shot” Award presented by every incumbent government - An awful slate of playoff games. The NFL has a chance to get it right again this week. Makes it worse that last week’s blowouts were followed by the NCAA National Championship, which was incredible.
The “These Are The People That Will Have To Protect Us From The Zombie Apocalypse” Award presented by Bo Scarborough - Jadeveon Clowney. I saw him come from the opposite side of the field and run a receiver out of bounds on a reverse. He’s just not supposed to be able to do that.
By RENALDO DORSETT
Sports Reporter
rdorsett@tribunemedia.net
Seattle Seahawks at
Atlanta Falcons
RENALDO: The entire “A” is trending upward right now. Mercurial football team aside, Donald Glover just gave all of Atlanta a reason to celebrate when his groundbreaking comedy “Atlanta” won the Golden Globe for Best TV Series Comedy or Musical. The hits didn’t stop there, Glover sent an entire white audience scrambling to Google when he thanked Migos for making what he called the greatest song ever - “Bad and Boujie.” This is the momentum behind Matt Ryan right now. Matty Ice has yet to have that transcendent playoff game to cement his legacy. This won’t be that game, but it’s the game before the game. The last time these teams met in the playoffs it was in the divisional round in 2014 and the Falcons came out on top, but the Seahawks have done considerably better since (one super bowl win, two super bowl appearances and one Marshawn Lynch).
The Seahawks have been ridiculously inconsistent this season due to a much maligned offensive line but we tend to do that thing in sports where we give teams (too much of) the benefit of the doubt because “they’ve been there before.”
People expect the Falcons to fail and it’s easily one of the running jokes of the NFL. It was the same with Glover’s “Atlanta.” The only thing the city lost recently is Kyle Korver. A-Town stay up, it’s like Outkast dropped SouthernPlayalisticCadillacMuzik all over again.
FALCONS over
Seahawks
SANNIE: This is basically a LeToya Luckett game for me - “I’m torn in between the two.” On one hand you have Russell Wilson and the entire adorable Wilson family and on the other hand you have the city largely responsible for most of my ratchet TV and ratchet culture in general. I’m sorry Real Housewives, but I have to go with the Wilson baby.
SEAHAWKS over
Falcons
Houston Texans at
New England Patriots
RENALDO: Here’s how much of an afterthought the Texans are to the casual football fan: Until Sunday’s Wild Card game, I had no clue they were the top ranked defence in the league. The Pats are by far the biggest favourite this weekend, and maybe one of the biggest postseason favourites ever – Vegas gives them a 16-point edge. That might not be enough. These teams met back in week three and the Pats won 27-0….with Jacob Brisket at quarterback (I’m not bothering to learn the proper name of New England’s third string quarterback). I don’t see how they could possibly fare any better against Brady. The only fun over the next few days will be wildly speculating whether JJ Watt in all his patriotic, slice of American glory tries to make a return to the field.
PATS over Texans
SANNIE: I mean…Tom Brady. I get that I always go with Houston because that’s where Beyoncé was born but it’s not like she’s Jesus or anything. Tom Brady isn’t Jesus either but he’s at least a second or third cousin. I’m positive.
PATS over Texans
Pittsburgh Steelers at
Kansas City Chiefs
RENALDO: I’m still not over it. Absolutely nothing stops Big Ben. Not the Dolphins defence, not a bum ankle, not a pair of sexual assault allegations. Nothing. I’m not here to be objective about the Steelers. They directly ruined my happiness in the most embarrassing playoff exit for the Dolphins since the game that shall not be mentioned (not just because of the final score, but because it made them think that Jay Fielder was a good idea). My hope here is that the Chiefs follow the blueprint laid by the Giants in ending the Patriots’ perfect season – elite pass rush, conservative ball control offence and divine intervention.
CHIEFS over Steelers
SANNIE: Renaldo was pretty upset that the Steelers embarrassed the Dolphins on their way out of the playoffs. I have to go against them, for the family.
CHIEFS over
Steelers
Green Bay Packers at
Dallas Cowboys
RENALDO: I find people that wear yellow pants in high-pressure situations more trustworthy that those that don’t. Aaron Rodgers is the player in all of sports that gives you more irrational confidence than anyone else. The Cowboys have a better offensive line, running back, receiving corps (if Jordy Nelson is sidelined), and it’s nearly a push defensively or the slight edge is with Dallas. The only reason you have to believe in the Packers, is Aaron Rodgers. Yet still…
PACKERS over
Cowboys
SANNIE: The Cowboys just seem more fun. The Packers seem old and tired – like me making these picks. How long is this season!?
COWBOYS over Packers
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