The Tribune

By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

This week, between the Majority Rule Day marchers and the We March marchers, there sure was a whole lot of marching going on. But while one group celebrated the past, the other focused their eyes squarely on the future.

A song of praise

I think most Bahamians would agree that we have one of the best national anthems ever written. The lines about lifting up our heads and waving banners and treacherous shoals have to be among the coolest. And rhyming ‘trod’ with ‘God’? Well, that’s pure magic. But sometimes, even with the best music and lyrics, patriotic songs may not connect deeply with every generation.

As a boy, I grew up in a crazy time vortex where we were taught both ‘God Save the Queen’ and ‘March On, Bahamaland’ side by side. As children in school, we Generation Xers were often instructed to sing one and immediately segue into the other like some weird Adele/Baha Men collaboration.

And since I’m being honest, I might as well admit that even though I preferred the new national anthem I never really got it. March on? To where? For what?

In my young mind, ‘God Save the Queen’ was much simpler. Basically, the song is just asking Her Majesty to continue ... breathing (which she has been doing splendidly for 90 years.) Even the Americans’ ‘Star Spangled Banner’, with all of their rockets and bombs and flags seemed straight forward enough. Why was our anthem all about ‘marching on’ when I had never seen a group of Bahamians march in my life?

This past Tuesday, as we celebrated the historic 50th anniversary of Majority Rule, there were two (some say duelling) marches. One group, comprised mainly of hundreds of Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) supporters took time to honour an event from the past. Another group, comprised of just about everyone else in the country, railed against the current PLP government’s poor performance in the present.

Two different events. Thousands of Bahamians in the streets marching at the same time.

Our goals may no longer be common or even lofty these days but, on Tuesday, I was proud to be a Bahamian. March on, Bahamaland.

And now this

Now that we’ve established that both marches were important and well attended, can we talk about the comments made at one march in particular?

Archdeacon James Palacious, a well respected member of the clergy in this country, had the honour of speaking at a Majority Rule event this week.

Unfortunately for me, I was not there. I have no idea what other words came out of the mouth of Archdeacon Palacious because, by the time Tuesday afternoon rolled around, all anyone was talking about was this little gem that did escape his lips: ‘Black people breed too much.’

Now I could go on about how this statement, on a global or local scale, is just plain false. I could talk statistics and census numbers but no one wants numbers. Most Bahamians, especially on social media, just want to know what ‘fly up in’ the good reverend to make him talk this way.

For the record, black people do not ‘breed too much’. Whatever the reverend’s arbitrary definition of ‘too much’ is.

And even though I will no doubt have to say my Hail Marys for questioning a man of the cloth, wasn’t the first (and I mean literally the first) commandment God gave mankind something about being fruitful and multiplying?

Someone has some explaining to do.

I’ve heard all the ‘poor people’ and ‘cycle of poverty’ lines from the good reverend’s supporters. But when did being poor render a person’s existence meaningless? What happened to ‘the meek’ and their inheritance?

This is all ‘Hunger Games’-level strange stuff to me.

And not just because a well-known pastor chose the momentous anniversary of Majority Rule to advise ‘black people’ to slow their role when it comes to breeding, but also because even if - no, especially if - he was targeting the poor, his comments become more outrageous.

This is probably why, like beer and wine, politics and religion don’t mix.

Far be it for a sinner like me to ask the hard questions about family planning, a woman’s right to choose and deadbeat fathers that the Church and the politicians refuse to seriously answer.

Instead, I will visit Father Anselm at confession this Sunday and pray to the Lord that children who are here through no fault of their own are not politicised but rather prioritised over a wasteful government and a tacitly complicit congregation of ‘saved’ souls who turn a blind eye to failing institutions in order to scapegoat the least educated and most vulnerable amongst us.

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net