The Tribune

By MICHELLE MILLER

While the idea of treating yourself better may sound simple as pie, many find this concept somewhat difficult. Simply because it is difficult to treat yourself better if you are stuck in a bitter place. More than this, in order to be better you must know how to ‘be’. And by ‘be’ I mean be yourself – be your best friend; be your own advocate. The only solution here is to give yourself a real honest to goodness whole life assessment that allows you to see things in a holistic kind of way.

Then the other issue is the way you define “better”. What may be better for some may not meet the better requirement for others. The greatest measurement of better in my view is to use your feelings as the guide. It’s difficult to be better if you are feeling badly, bitter or worse. The feelings spoken of here are your true feelings not that plastic smile that so many glide through life with.

By addressing your emotional issues you begin the process of dealing and healing some of your inner wounds. Recognise that this is not a minor league suggestion. It requires a major shift in your thinking and an enormous amount of courage to cut away the many layers of lies that no doubt hold you hostage.

You may be surprised to find that in almost every case these lies are based on other people’s perceptions and perhaps opinions of you. Without much forethought, you have accepted them as your truth. Until you make up your mind to cleanse the lens of your perception and take a real honest look at yourself you cannot treat yourself better.

Treating yourself better is a process but it won’t just happen. It is a decision that you must make; investing time and effort to redefine the way define yourself. You must be willing to see yourself in a new light.

At some point in our journey we can really get beaten up by the challenges of life. Indeed, a lot of stuff happens. That why it’s called life. And as much as we may only want sunshine in our life, we know that it must rain. Yet it is not the many rain storms that we face, it is always our willingness to face them fearlessly that matters most. Facing life’s storms head on strengthens your resolve to bounce back. The best advice here is to own your feelings. When you own the way you feel you better yourself to address those feeling confidently.

The first step to treating yourself better begins by reevaluating the value of yourself. Make certain that you are not investing too much valuable emotional capital worrying about what people may think. It is what you think about yourself that is the trump card.

Perhaps the bitterness hindering you from treating yourself well goes back to your childhood. This indeed can be even more devastating, because you were defenceless. Let me just say that it was not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions/behaviours of those entrusted with your care.

While they may be horrible feelings, you must find ways to release your power from what happened. Otherwise, it remains a major link in the chain of your emotional foundation. You are born worthy and destined to live a better life. And absolutely nobody can take that away from you. Now that you are here you owe it to yourself to take responsibility for your life.

Let me reiterate that you cannot treat yourself better until you feel better. Treating yourself better is not about buying more expensive stuff. Instead, it is about dealing with that painful stuff within.

Start the process of getting inside of your life to heal your shattered emotions. You cannot build a better life if you are broken within.

As a life therapist, I know that there is incredible value in facing the pain and healing yourself. It is the ultimate path to your authentic power. Freedom comes from first breaking free within.

Leader to leader, make the decision to treat yourself better by beginning the process of addressing your most painful emotional. By dealing with the root of your feelings you can heal, repair and rebuild yourself. In so doing you develop the ingredients to bake a better, more emotionally healthy life pie.

It is your willingness to get naked inside your life; doing the inner work that builds the pillars of living an empowered life. Yes, you can do it.

What do you think? Send comments questions to 429-6770 or coaching242@yahoo.com.

• Michelle M Miller is a certified life coach, communication and leadership expert. Visit www.talktomichellemiller.com or call 1-888-620-7894; mail can be sent to PO Box CB-13060.