The Tribune

By Inigo 'Naughty' Zenicazelaya

ANOTHER week down under the new government, and yes, my eyes are still surveying the political landscape quite attentively.

Slowly but surely you can see the wheels of the new administration beginning to turn, as they roll out their campaign plan, even if it’s not exactly what the FNM promised during the election campaign, and voters had expected post election.

Is this a case of the FNM not being prepared to govern on day one, as most PLP spin doctors will have the masses believe?

Or rather, a patient cerebral approach to solving the nation’s myriad of problems?

The jury seems to still be out on this one!

What Really Happened...

Nonetheless, the FNM, in getting their plans into motion, are revealing all the sordid details of the past administration, in order to keep the Bahamian people abreast of what they are truly up against as an administration.

Safe to say the details of the past five years under the PLP government have left mouths aghast, tongues wagging and social media buzzing.

In all the political diatribe going back and forth, almost lost in the shuffle, was one last nugget of idiocy from, perhaps the most featured MP in the history of this column, and usually not for a job well done. V. Alfred Gray.

According to a letter to the Editor, published in The Tribune, from ‘The Whistleblower’ Mr. Gray had one last curtain call, right before the last election.

Apparently, according to The Minister of State for Public Service and National Insurance Brensil Rolle, revealed during his contribution, to the House during the budget debate, that the PLP added 6,500 persons to the already bloated civil service between 2012-2017.

In the final months of their term, the Christie administration increased the government payroll by $10m.

Hirings occurred in Acklins, which is a part of MICAL, former PLP MP Alfred Gray’s constituency.

In fact according to Minister Rolle, forty-one persons were hired in Acklins, which is a part of the MICAL constituency. Comically one of the hirees’ job description was to watch a police station as a security guard.

Hold up wait a minute? Security guards for an armed, manned police station?

This is right up there, with Gray telling constituents “to go hide in a cave” as category 4 hurricane barrelled down on the tiny island.

Or the time he told displaced hurricane survivors to be grateful for all what the government is doing for them. (Even if they were being housed in health hazard ‘Roach motels’).

From my vantage point, post election, another of Gray’s infamous quotes finally came back to bite him in the gluteus maximus, once and for all.

“Once we get BahaMar open and create five to six thousand jobs, Bahamians won’t care who the government is.”

Well it seems like the people really do care, they took your jobs and still voted you out.

For all the times Mr. Gray had a laugh at the expense of the taxpayers, the voters in MICAL ensured the people had the last laugh, loudest and best.

VAT EXEMPTIONS????

Not to be outdone, the FNM certainly made their comical contributions this week.

During the election campaign, I knew PM Dr Minnis couldn’t pronounce ‘bread basket items’ But I didn’t realise that he nor his team of advisors didn’t actually know what they were!

How long has it been since his wife sent him on a “food store mission”?

Because looking at some of the recent VAT exemptions, I’m concerned for some of my fellow Bahamians.

For me, the exemptions work. I love salmon, and I’m a huge fan of Vladimir Putin (sarcasm) so caviar is high on my list. I can enjoy these dishes way more often now, so I’m happy.

Most of you don’t know this, but I’m an aviator at heart, so the VAT exemption on airplane parts is going to allow me to finally fix the Cessna in my backyard. I’ve needed parts for a couple of years now, and with the exemption I can now afford the parts, and will be airborne and flying high in short order.

And finally, the VAT Exemption on Bull Semen will also come in handy. (There’s only one usage for this product that I know of). So in case I ever want to impregnate some cows, I’m prepared.

Now I propose VAT be added to “political Bull Manure.” That way some of these politicians will think twice before promising the electorate the world for their votes, knowing full well some of those promises will never be delivered.