The Tribune

By JEFFARAH GIBSON

Tribune Features Writer

jgibson@tribunemedia.net

Having counselled many Bahamian women, both single and married, over the years, Pastor Lequient Bethel said a constant complaint he has heard is that the men they meet or have relationships with do not have any goals or ambitions in life. These women, he said, find themselves forced into a leadership position, to push their men, only to then be considered nags.

Pastor Bethel, a founder of Epic Church and a life and development strategist, said he recognised that many Bahamian women are hurting in relationships and struggling to have the love life they want.

As a way to help them, Pastor Bethel is embarking on a tour that will give women information on "30 things to look out for in a man".

The tour will begin on September 15 at the British Colonial Hilton. Sessions will also be held in Trinidad & Tobago at the end of the month.

Pastor Bethel believes once women know what to look out for, they can make a more sound decision when it comes to choosing men to date and eventually maybe marry.

The tour, he said, is both a workshop and a seminar to teach women their value and to also provide them with an environment where they can learn how to empower themselves and build self-esteem.

"I counselled a lot of men regarding relationships and they ended up not taking the counsel and ended up hurting a lot of the women they were involved with. So I decided instead of counselling men how to prepare for a woman and pursue her, I thought I'd teach women their worth to prevent them from being unnecessarily used or hurt," he told Tribune Woman.

"I'll be giving 30 points that will show women their value and strengthen their self-worth."

Pastor Bethel said he feels compelled to share this information with women because he wants to see them have a better chance at loving and wholesome marriages.

"I've counselled a lot of relationships where many women are suffering in their marriage. Many single women are in my congregation that I want to see married, and happily so," he said.

While some women make bad decisions regarding the men they date or marry, Pastor Bethel said others have unresolved issues and pain that has never been properly dealt with, so they end up staying in and choosing bad relationships.

"Some women make poor choices in men, but I think it's mostly because our wounds find similar ones to connect to. A woman with low self-worth usually will connect to a man who is deeply insecure and have self-esteem issues himself," said the pastor.

For this reason, Pastor Bethel hopes the upcoming seminar will uncover worth, beauty and value in every woman, so that she can make healthier decisions when it comes to a potential life partner.

He said there are many single women our there who tout certain standards they have when it comes to dating, but often what they expect is unrealistic perfection.

"There is a distinction between the two that can only be distinguished when a woman truly knows and embraces her value . If you know your value, your standards in the way you allow yourself to be treated will come from that understanding. Those who desire perfection usually have a warped perception of love and of people. Mostly from past hurts. They themselves are hurting and in need of some form of healing," he said.

For more information about Pastor Bethel's tour, contact lequientbethel@gmail.com.