The Tribune

By Michelle Miller

The one guarantee about life is the constancy of change. Whether we define those changes as good or bad, they consistently flow our way. Still, change it and of itself is not the challenge. The thing that causes most to become overwhelmed is the way they process and cope with the changes that life presents.

One of the most fundamental challenges we all face is detailed in the Serenity Prayer. I believe this is the prayer of all prayers simply because it puts us in the driver seat as having the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change those we can and the wisdom to know the difference.

This prayer really speaks to a profound coping mechanism. It suggests that those who can find the calm while in the midst of the storm of change can also find the courage to focus and take action, the wisdom to know when to hold or fold them.

Then of course there's the issue of fear. We often cower not because we don't have the strength but more so because we are too afraid to act. When you fear what you face more than you desire to achieve the thing you want, you will quickly lose your confidence.

Yes, we all want relief from grief. However, such relief is not an overnight experience. It takes time to sort through our emotions and navigate the process of addressing the cause of your distress.

Relief from grief is not a microwave experience. Taking time to sort through the emotions of the situation is an essential first step. You must develop some kind of coping mechanism that strengthens your resolve. Deep within you, there is the capacity to think, understand and to cope. This inner strength often lies dormant until you stir it up.

Truth is at you core, you are wired to meet the life changes with confidence.

However, you must build your capacity to understand what you're made of. It is only then that you will find the courage to face your fears and move towards your own personal victory. This brings to question - what is your coping strategy?

Most people are not change-ready. Often many sadly surrender to drugs and alcohol as a means of not facing or dealing with their challenges. Substance misuse and abuse is a poor coping strategy. It will always take you down - you will never go up using this approach. Alcohol is another poor choice. However, it being legal and readily accessible, it is quite possibly the most common means of coping that many adopt. They become addicted to numbing their emotions; thinking they can drink it in to drown out their problems. But this is a lethal mistake.

Take time to develop a more self-empowering coping strategy that supports you in facing the problem and finding real solutions. Sometimes the best that you can do is to find the courage to ask for help. There is no need to do it alone. This asking for help is sometimes a big setback for many. The fact is nobody is exempt from life challenges and we all need a little help sometimes. See getting help as a means of empowering yourself rather than seeing it as some kind of inadequacy. Leader to leader, understand that seeking help does not make you weak - it makes you stronger. With proper help, you can learn to push pass the pain of your problems and move towards an improved state of being.

When my mother passed, I truly did not feel that I had the capacity to cope. Everything seemed to be imploding all around me - I knew that I needed help to help me make sense of what I was facing.

Indeed, we must all learn how to endure the hills and valleys of our life challenges. The more we trust ourselves, the stronger and more capable we become. Be encouraged to build an effective coping strategy . In so doing you gain the serenity to accept the things you cannot change and become empowered to change the things you can.

Yes, you definitely can do it!

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