The Tribune

EDITOR, The Tribune.

IT is apparent that many who have submitted letters concerning marital rape do not understand the nuances involved with this topic.

Firstly, rape is an allegation that has to be proven, it is not a statement of fact. Or is it an automatic conclusion that all men are guilty of marital rape if the charge is brought forth? Consider the chaos it would cause if every allegation of a potentially criminal act were believed without proper investigation.

Secondly, rape does not have to be a violent act as many have suggested. It is non-consensual sex between two people at the time it occurred, if I am not mistaken. There may be threats of violence or harm, but violence does not have to be involved. Rape and marital rape can occur with use of force or even threat of force. If force is threatened, there may be no physical evidence of force. So now you have a situation where it is one person’s word against another.

Consider the scenario where a man comes home extra tired, his wife is in the mood but he is not and he tells her this. He falls asleep and awakens to her “forcing” herself on him. Since he did not give consent and stated before he fell asleep that he did not want to, would she be guilty of marital rape if he were to press charges? Which begs the question of why would a person bring a charge of marital rape against their spouse unless the marriage is already over, for obviously the charge against one’s spouse would certainly end the relationship!

In addition, how many men would come forward in such a scenario? What if a wife says no, but her husband knows from experience that no may mean yes, is he now guilty of marital rape as well? So we see an inherent gender bias in this topic.

Consider another scenario where there is physical abuse in a relationship. A man beats his wife religiously and has for many years. Everybody knows this, her family, his family and their neighbours.

Consider that as a part of their sick ritual they have “make up sex”. That sex is consensual. If that woman goes to the police station after they have made up, bloody and bruised and DNA analysis shows evidence of her husband’s “presence” would he be guilty of marital rape? He may be guilty of domestic abuse, but not rape in this scenario.

Make no mistake, genuine marital rape may and probably does occur. Abuses of all kinds occur in marriages that are perpetrated by both sides. In our society the mere accusation of marital rape can cause a person their reputation or more. It cannot be approached with frenzied emotion.

At the present time, it seems to be an argument grasped by those who want to use it as a tool of female empowerment, not those who want justice for real victims.

JB

Nassau,

December 28, 2017.