The Tribune

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

ONCE again, the country’s main electricity provider is in the flickering spotlight. On one hand, an MP is “begging for a break” while on the other, the Minister responsible for Bahamas Power and Light is promising “the best summer ever”!

While reading one of the dailies this week, I came across a strange story. According to The Nassau Guardian:

“Mangrove Cay and South Andros MP Picewell Forbes yesterday petitioned for politicians to have protection from being disconnected by Bahamas Power and Light (BPL) for nonpayment, saying those who serve, or served, should be given a ‘basic respect and courtesy.’”

After wiping off my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee stained newspaper (the result of an involuntary fit of laughter that sent a gulp of ‘morning joe’ flying everywhere), I read the words again to be sure I was ‘seeing straight.’

Lo and behold, the article went on in great detail about Mr Forbes’s griping about “light bills and how politicians are treated”. He also went on to talk about the elite persons who had “passed through these halls, senators, members of Parliament” who, it seems, like ghosts are now seeking to haunt the Bahamian people with the burden of carrying their bills.

Forbes talked about “a basic benchmark or protocol for persons whose lights are going to be turned off” as if there wasn’t already a benchmark – pay your bill or get turned off.

Then he got to the heart of the matter, a spiel that was supposed to convince the public that somehow parliamentarians are different, somehow they are “special”.

Well allow me to enlighten you, Mr Forbes, and free of charge no less; parliamentarians are not more special than the mother of four who is working two jobs as “a janitor” and has to watch her children do homework by candlelight because she still can’t afford the high price of electricity.

You’re not more special than the hardworking father who has to brace himself to explain to his wife why there’s a yellow sticker on the door and no “current” on in the house.

You’re not more special than, say, Grammy “Over da Hill” who has to “make do” with no light because her $200 payment didn’t cover her $300 bill so “tough luck”.

That’s the beauty of living in a country where everyone is equal and accountable to the same standard. To paraphrase Syndrome from The Incredibles, “when everybody is special, nobody is”.

I find it most remarkable and disturbing that at a time when all we hear out of our Parliament is woeful news concerning the country’s finances the very same persons charged with making the laws want to bend the rules for their personal benefit.

I find Mr Forbes’s contention “that parliamentarians have to sacrifice finances to serve”, and despite this, they give “their very last and their very best”’ to be hogwash.

If parliamentarians tried their very best we wouldn’t be in this mess, would we?

How many years have we lost falling behind the global curve under the watch of “parliamentarians” who lacked the vision to move us toward more sustainable forms of energy like LNG or solar?

How much treasure has this country lost while those self-same politicians presided over a run-down system at BEC?

And now “yinne want us ta give yinne a break”?

Because you’re “special”?

To quote every Grammy sitting in the dark who just doesn’t care about your feelings, “You best try hard!”

I think I can comfortably say the answer to your request for a formal “do not disconnect” list is a hard “No!” from the Bahamian electorate.

At one point there was said to be over 8,000 homes in New Providence without power due to non-payment. You want to be special? Find a way to get their power back on before you try to burden us with your “power” issues. Especially those of you with two or three homes and “a few” apartments to boot.

Serve (with competence) and then look to be served.

As for those who think this is a good time to address parliamentarians’ paychecks again, please see my previous column on that issue because at this point I only have three words: Don’t do it.

The Dog Days of Summer

Summertime in the Bahamas is a beautiful thing. Long days of sunshine, beaching, and, er, curious fashion choices. We live in a serene sub-tropical paradise that truly is the gem of the Caribbean.

That is, until night falls on the days that BPL strikes.

That’s when the reality of our clockwork “rolling blackouts” hits like a knockout blow to an overworked, overheated populace to the point of driving us crazy.

There are not enough portable fans, ice or Bud Light to “cool the passions” of angry Bahamians fed up with the state of our electricity affairs.

That’s why the latest word from our Minister of Works, Desmond Bannister, that this will be the “best summer ever” in terms of electricity supply is music to my ears.

Now there is a chance that the “best” that BPL has in mind is not the same “best” we have in mind. Because if we’re talking about 499 blackouts instead of 500, well that’s not really good enough.

If, however, we are talking about not having to worry about our food spoiling in the fridge or our “spoiled” kids griping about how their electronics are dying then maybe we are onto something. And if Mr Bannister and crew can accomplish this then more power to them.

I am hoping for a great performance from BPL, but I’m not yet convinced. After all, there is that old cliche that “a promise is a comfort to a fool.”

Do you know what would be a real comfort to this fool?

No scheduled blackouts.

We’re counting on you, BPL. Don’t let us down.