The Tribune

By JEFFARAH GIBSON

Tribune Features Writer

jgibson@tribunemedia.net

HIGH SCHOOL students in the Bahamas are experiencing a crisis. Where their friendships and romantic relationships should be light-hearted and fun in nature, in reality they are too serious, often abusive, and in some cases, bordering on violent. This, according to a leading youth advocate and domestic abuse survivor.

CEO of the Empowerment Group Denise Major told Tribune Woman that young people are getting into serious relationships too soon and without the proper understanding and knowledge of how healthy relationships work.

To combat this and share more knowledge with the youth of the country, Ms Major is once again spearheading the LoveSmart School Tour this month.

LoveSmart is a programme that aims to teach young people about healthy relationships, both friendships and romantic unions, as well as how to identify toxic ones and what do if they or someone they know is in an abusive situation.

While the programme is administered through a few schools to a select amount of students, it is open to all schools and students.

Over the past few weeks, the current tour featured Ms Major accompanied by Valerie Williams from Brunswick, Georgia, an author as well as a domestic abuse survivor, who shared her story.

The LoveSmart Tour was presented to Queen’s College, Government High School, C I Gibson, Anatol Rodgers, Doris Johnson, and the Royal Bahamas Defence Force Rangers Programme.

A special women’s empowerment session was held last Saturday.

“Our young people are suffering from a relationship crisis because they are suffering from an identity crisis. They do not know their own needs, wants and expectations, but yet they are taking on the responsibilities of another,” Denise told Tribune Woman.

She said she has noticed that many young people have a distorted view of relationships, primarily influenced by what they are exposed to at home and in the media.

“The fear of being alone or the need to be connected with someone also causes a relationship crisis. Just so they can be with someone they will settle for anything – disrespect, abuse, et cetera. They also need guidance from parents and guardians as to what expectations they have for them, which is why we have the parenting session planned for the summer tour,” she said.

One of the most worrisome aspects Ms Major said she witnessed about these kinds of relationships is that they are a breeding ground for domestic violence.

“We have been seeing a lot of control issues in teen relationships when one partner has to seek approval from the next; they can’t have friends or are only ‘allowed’ to go certain places or wear certain things. Their phones and social media accounts are being monitored and checked by their partners... these are high schoolers,” she said.

“Second would be the disrespect where they feel that they can talk to each other any type of way and in a derogatory manner and touch each other inappropriately and without consent. Or one of them may feel pressured to engage in sexual acts, both male and female.”

As for the appropriate age to begin dating, she said: “This age varies based on the individual and their level of maturity and responsibility. Parents should start relationship conversations about their expectations for their children as early as 12, but to allow a young person to date I think 15/16 is an appropriate age and they can set guidelines such as chaperoned dates or group dating.”

The LoveSmart tour will kick off in matter of months and will visit to various Summer youth programmes. This particular programme will end with a youth conclave and a parent session.

“For parents, we want them to understand that they need to have ongoing conversations with their children about their expectations and values. They need to communicate with their children and not just talk at them when it comes to relationships, because if a child cannot go to their parents or a trusted adult they may find themselves in an abusive, toxic and unhealthy relationship and do not how to get out,” said Ms Major.

“We go in and are able to impact and educate the teens with information as well as share our personal stories. The presenters are survivors of domestic violence themselves.”