The Tribune

By Inigo Zenicazelaya

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY FNM

I would like to personally thank the FNM, as a comedian, they have made my job a walk in the park, with an abundance of material.

“Loon jokes, for days.”

LIKE CANDY FROM A BABY -

Whether it’s the irony or the hypocrisy that is associated with the FNM and it’s governance, it has made the jokes in some cases write themselves, and allowed me more time to enjoy an adult beverage or two.

From the OBAN fiasco, to the “Spy Bill”, to the “EU Blacklisting” to still no form of FOIA in place, to the butchering of the VAT exemptions, to the “Office of the Spouse”, to BPL, to the Speaker of the House “jungaliss” behaviour and remarks in the HOA, to no appointment of an official Chief Justice, to mass layoffs, to lack of consistent accountability and transparency, and so on and so on.

The FNM administration, with all of its failings, finger pointing and double talk, has been a smorgasbord of comedic delights.

A Comedian’s ‘dream’, on one hand and a nation’s ‘nightmare’ on the other. Ah, the irony.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE

Also not to be forgotten, various incidents and issues with the Immigration Department, and subsequently, QC Fred Smith schooling and humbling the Immigration Dept and other government agencies, over and repeatedly on numerous issues, where the government hadn’t done their due diligence.

Not to mention, multiple unions that are threatening to take industrial action, the RBPF is still waiting on their back pay and nobody can seem to get a proper head count, or figure out the “Chinese Arithmetic” down there at the Point development.

‘DOC’ IS MY MUSE

Add the political naïveté of PM Minnis, to his unfamiliarity with political protocol, leading to numerous inappropriate public remarks.

And the fish, we can’t forget the fish, and the PM’s fixation with fish. Whether he got it from “Tougie and BoBo” or not.

From “moon fishing” to “stewed”.

“Doc” love up some fish.

I often wonder on which the PM is fixated more, fish, or being as “Trumpian” as possible, minus the orange hue?

“Doc”, you make joke writing so easy and fun, but in all seriousness, when you make former PM Perry Christie, (one finger salute and all) look like a “rocket scientist”, it’s time you step up your game.

So what if it makes it a bit harder for me to write material? My loss is the nation’s gain, in the form of better governance and leadership on your behalf.

ILLUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

Finally (only because my editor told me to keep it short) what I find most comical about the FNM after one year, is that a majority of their MPs feel they have arrived and are above reproach.

Many are continuously antagonising the media, all the while branding the media’s criticisms of them as “fake news”.

What is truly hilarious, is that some of the aforementioned FNM MP’s truly believe they won their seat on their own merits and appeal.

Reality check, FYI, all FNM MPs, the cold hard truth of the matter is the FNM could have run a goat, blind in one eye, missing a horn, with three legs, named “Lucky” wearing an FNM t-shirt in any one of your constituencies and the goat would have won.

It was never about any of you personally, it was about removing the horrendous PLP administration at all costs.

Continue down this same path, and five years from now, God spare life, I will be writing about a new administration’s first year as the government.

When I reflect on this administration’s first year in office a quote from Comedian Bill Murray comes to mind: “If we lie to the government it’s a crime, if the government lies to us, it’s politics.”