The Tribune

By CARA HUNT

Tribune Features Writer

cbrennen@tribunemedia.net

The recent college admission scandal in the United States involving celebrities and high-level officials has brought to light just how far some parents are willing to go to give their children the life they feel they deserve.

Thirty-three parents, including Hollywood actresses, have been charged with using their wealth to ensure their children were admitted into elite colleges.

Hallmark Channel star Lori Loughlin is alleged to have paid $500,000 to get both her daughters into the University of Southern California, going as far as trying to pass them off as members of the rowing crew. Meanwhile, former “Desperate Housewives” star Felicity Huffman, who is married Emmy Award winner William H Macy, pleaded guilty to paying $15,000 to boast her daughter’s SAT scores.

While most parents would agree that breaking the law and risking jail time is morally wrong, some Bahamian moms admitted to Tribune Woman that they often go the extra mile to ensure that their children get preferential treatment at school, and that they have no qualms about doing so.

Leandra*, whose two sons (ages seven and four) attend a local private school, said: “We can condemn these moms and say that they are wrong, but let’s be real, we have all done some ‘shady’ things for our kids. I mean, think about teachers’ appreciation week.

“I always spend more than I really can afford buying gifts for my kids’ teachers and the teachers aides because I don’t want to be the parent that the teachers think is cheap, and then that affects my child’s grades, being chosen for things, et cetera. Now, maybe teachers don’t think like that, but who wants to take the chance of their child being singled out. Some of these mothers go all out – spa gift certificates, John Bull designer bags... that’s Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman actions on a Bahamian budget. It ain’t against the law, but it’s low key bribery.”

Melia agreed and admits that she can definitely wear the title of an “extra parent”.

“I’m not gonna say that I am a law breaker, but I will admit that I am a mom who may ask for ‘favours’, like I knew my child wanted to be the line leader (in class), and so I bought his teacher a Starbucks (beverage) before I casually mentioned that I hoped my son got the job,” said Cindy, the mother of a seven-year-old.

Jeanne disagrees that mothers should feel guilty for using persuasive methods to ensure that their children have better opportunities

“I am that mom who wants my child to have the things that my parents couldn’t afford to give me,” she said. “I know for a fact that the children whose parents go on the field trips and volunteer on the PTA get treated better than the child of the working mom who can’t always get time off. It’s sad, but true. I just make sure that my child is in that favourite circle; yes, I do. I have to give them whatever advantage I can.”

Leslie, the mother of a three-year-old girl, said her daughter has just started pre-school and already she is feeling the pressure of having her in the right school, the right ballet class, and provide her with the right opportunities.

“I’m not saying that it is right to break the law, but I feel like as mothers we are under so much pressure to give our kids that perfect life, as seen by our family and friends, that I can understand why a mother would consider being a little extra, she said. “It’s not right, but I think that they just thought the end justifies the means.”

Latesha, mother to a four-year-old girl and a six-year-old boy, said that if she had the ability to use her money to ensure a better life for her kids, she would probably act in a similar way to Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman.

“I see why people are upset though, because I am one of the mothers who can’t afford to do all the extras I see some of the others doing. I’m not a muck-a-muck. I’m not rich and so it just disgusts me that my child who does well and works hard on her own can be at a disadvantage because of that. So if I could flip it, I probably would. Someone will always have more money or money connections, and I feel like that is something that will plague you in adulthood and really shouldn’t be a factor in school,” she said.

• Names have been changed to protect the identities of interview subjects