The Tribune

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

WHILE I’m still hobbled with my injured knee, the barbershop right around the corner from my house, has become my chill spot, from about 10.30am when I’m off air until about 2.00pm when I embark on the dreaded “school run”.

Thanks again, to my barber Leon and the crew at Atlantic Barbershop, for keeping my spirits up. And for the new material, courtesy of some of the patrons.

Once patrons realise it’s me, then here come the jokes, they want to give me to use on stage.

I don’t mind indulging them, the only problem I have, is forcing a laugh at a joke I already know the punchline to.

However, the ones that do genuinely make me laugh, will get a place in this week’s column.

Despite a very “corny” start a few came through at the wire.

So for Rocky at RUBiS West Bay, Trevor, at Baha Mar and the jokester from Premier Importers, who shall remain nameless, who was taking an extended lunch hour to get a cut. As promised here are your jokes, listed respectively, that made me laugh.

Thanks again, I needed the laughs!

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That’s it. No more reading!

Can you tell what the topic of discussions was?

(Libations maybe)

And, of course, I couldn’t leave you without a few more, funny ones about the good old barbershop.

AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN:

A Defence Force Officer and a Marine were in the barbershop.

They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barber reached for some aftershave to slap on their faces.

The sailor shouted, “Hey, don’t put that stuff on me! My wife will think I’ve been in a strip club!”

The officer turned to his barber and said, “Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn’t know what the inside of a strip club smells like.”

SMART KID :

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”

GOD TOLD ME TO GET A CUT :

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.

“I went to get a haircut,” was the reply.

“But,” said the pastor, “why didn’t you do that before the service?”

“Because,” the gentleman said, “I didn’t need one then.”

Enjoy your weekend everyone!!