The Tribune

By AYANNA CLARKE

2019 is now about three weeks old and I bet you have that familiar feeling that things are exactly as they were last year. Perhaps true, but life can be totally different, depending on questions we ask and how we answer them.

1 Will my actions reflect congruence or similarity? Am I going to be or do I even want to be the exact same person that I was last year?

The answer to this question should be a resounding no! We should always strive to be a better version of ourselves as we grow, change, and mature.

Congruence and similarity are math terms used to describe geometric shapes. Congruent means the shape has not changed – it is the same as it was before. Similarity suggests that though the shape is the same, whether larger or smaller, something of its scope has been made different. We can make 2019 a year to grow in the areas where growth is needed, or conversely, to shrink in some areas, trusting that God can work beyond what is added or taken away.

2 Will I opt for having partners or patrons? Am I going to settle for persons who will subtract from me or those who will truly support me reaching my next and perhaps best level?

We are discovering that Patrons and Partners are alike, but they are not the same. A patron is someone who subsidises or supports another person’s cause. A partner is like a patron but not quite. Consider this: If I am a patron, I have partnered with you to make sure your goal is met. Basically, I’m working for you. Partnership suggests we both benefit.

How can you tell if you’re a patron or a partner?

Patrons work hard by themselves to maintain a connection that is much more important to them than to the other person(s) involved. They are often asked to suit their actions to another person’s needs, often to the point of completely negating their own ideas and ideals. They are also treated as outcasts if and when they do decide to stand up for themselves; it can’t ever be about the patron in this kind of one-sided relationship. They try to be the “pleaser” in their connections, often laying aside their own feelings. In this instance the patron must do what it takes to make the other(s) happy, becoming mere shadows of themselves in order to feed the ego(s) around them

Partners on the other hand strive to find balance in maintaining the connection, they understand differences and reciprocation is key. They give worth to each other’s’ needs, often thinking of themselves second, knowing that the sentiment is mutual. They also understand the give and take of a healthy connection, allowing space for free communication without judgement. Partners are free to be their unique and wonderful selves, appreciated for their abilities and giftings in a common connection and any competition and comparison is friendly and good-natured.

Sadly, we’ve all been at the place where we assumed partnership when all we were really patrons, being used to meet a need. Although there are times when we have to be both, managing your patronage will allow you the time, energy and confidence to find true partners.

In 2019, two of our main goals are:

• Opting for similarity above congruence. The Bible encourages us, in Psalm 84, to grow – from strength to strength – continually growing and changing, until such time as we appear before God.

• Never mistaking patronage for partnership. Do not be afraid to examine your connections, “try spirits” as it were, and determine who you are in a connection.

As we continue into 2019, we are poised for confidence and better connections.

God bless you this week!