The Tribune

Loss covers so many different areas, but it will always denote sadness and grief; sometimes an unwillingness to thrive or move beyond the past or the pain.

Recently, I spoke with two of the strongest women I have ever met. They were both married to highly respected men in our Christian community who have tragically passed away too soon!

Shenicia Swan is the widow of Clarence “Nat” Williams. Loved and respected by all, Nat was known for his work in the music industry, particularly in the area of sound engineering.

Delisa Ferguson, mother of twin toddlers, is the widow of Japheth “Lyrically Blessed” Ferguson – the melodic and anointed voice that reminded us of such promises as “I’m Still Here!”

In our sit down, we chatted about how to say “yes to me” in the face of tragedy and loss.

It was truly an honour to listen as these powerful women shared how they are finding healing and restoration beyond their brokenness. Here are some portions of the interview:

Ayanna: How has your life changed?

Delisa Ferguson (DF): I’m still recovering. Right now, it’s just about survival for my children and I. God has truly favoured us in the past years.

Ayanna: What is one of your favourite memories of your late husband?

Shenicia Swan (SS): Believe it or not, one of my favourite memories is the birth of our daughter, Tali. He had sheltered and covered my older daughter in such an awesome way, it was an honour to give him his own seed.

DF: It’s hard to choose, but one in particular stands out. It was the announcement that we were having twins. We vowed to keep it a secret for a time, but before we got home he had already told everyone. He was a proud father.

Ayanna: How did having children change the dynamics of your loss?

SS: I don’t know how I would have made it without my girls. Some moments I felt lost and completely overwhelmed, to the point of shutting down. I knew though that my girls needed me.

DF: Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to do it without my twins. They forced me to get up and go. I do cry, but it has to be on the go because I am all they have left.

Ayanna: What did you do with his belongings?

SS: A month after he died, I came home and smelled his cologne, and got angry. I said to myself, “This dude isn’t coming home!” I then spent one sleepless night pulling down and sorting his things to give to friends and others.

DF: Everything is still exactly where he left it... exactly how he left it...even a year later. I’m just not ready.

I often say the greatest threat to reaching destiny is not the lack of resources, but the lack of consent to begin your journey in the first place.

There are times when life’s situations mandate that we grow, live and thrive, for not only our benefit, but for those who are attached to us.

What happens when life deals you a blow that should crush you? Or when your path diverts from the plan you laid out so carefully?

Mrs Swan advises: “Take a minute... and then move forward. In life there are no full stops.”

Mrs Ferguson added: “You have to draw a line with your grief. You have to stay present and stable for those who need you. Stand in your truth, feel your pain but stay trusting that God will fix it.”

Understand that your ‘yes’ means being there for others, helping them to find their very own.

God bless you this week!

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