The Tribune

By Ayanna Clarke

Are we at the end of the “Yes to Me” series? Readers and listeners alike have been reaching out:

“Ayanna, I’ve started my second book!”

“I am now speaking up for myself more…”

It seems that we all needed a reminder that a “yes” to ourselves is not only necessary, but sometimes mandatory if we are to reach God’s destiny for us and begin to walk in true purpose.

An avid listener to our voice note series has declared it cathartic and motivational. She says she’s encouraged not to be the introverted, tolerated, often ostracised person she used to be.

The responses are reminiscent of Psalms 27:17’s lesson: “Iron sharpens iron…”. And certainly I’m so humbled that these few life lessons have sparked renewed ambition, vision, and intention about living life on purpose, our main goal to fulfil destiny.

So now I’m motivated to live out my own purpose on another level, getting word that others have decided to say “yes” to themselves. Friends and strangers are still sharing remarkable stories of starting businesses, changing habits and renewing vows to succeed beyond limitations.

Of course you know we rarely end a series without having at least one assignment. So here goes:

As you practice your yes, your esteem and confidence increase, and you begin to change. This doesn’t mean that everyone changes with you. What do you do knowing your decision to live resolutely, with the understanding that not everyone can go, or even desires to go with you? You’ve got to start navigating your connections with a renewed mindset of your own worth and value.

Here’s the question:

Am I valuable to those around me or am I valued by those around me? The vast and grave difference between being valuable and being valued will lead you to carefully examine who you allow in your life and how you allow yourself to be treated. Your assignment is to begin grouping your connections into those who find you valuable and those who value you. I did and gained so much understanding of how I could expect to be handled as a result.

Each human being is unique in their characteristics, mannerisms and identity. We can often be imitated but never duplicated.

In this final entry on saying “yes to me” we want to concentrate on just that – the incomparable qualities that make us both valuable and worth valuing.

No question about it: we are both. No matter what the ability is, we are all great at something.

This makes us a valuable asset to those in need of what we can bring to or add to a situation. The problem comes in when we assume that being valuable also means we are valued.

Something valuable is worth much and can be traded for that worth. However, this is in no way to be confused with being valued, which suggests you are cherished despite what you can or cannot add to a relationship.

Issues only arise when we begin to confuse the two. Here’s the thing: Look at the basis of your connections, and ask some valid questions: Am I paying for a service? Am I meeting an immediate need? Do I bring a talent or ability to the situation? If the answer to any or all of these is yes then consider yourself valuable, not necessarily valued.

How do we know when we are valued? I guess it comes from an understanding loved beyond your abilities, despite lack of capability in any situation.

Our value isn’t determined by how people see us, or even treat us, that’s not what I’m saying. My point is to carefully qualify the basis of each connection so that you’re never left disappointed.

God bless you this week!