The Tribune

By TANYA SMITH-CARTWRIGHT

tsmith-cartwright@tribunemedia.net

WITH the issue of teen suicide in the national spotlight, psychiatrist Dr David Allen has given insight to parents about dealing with a child who may be experiencing mental health problems.

When dealing with such sensitive issues, Dr Allen said this is no time to play the blame game.

He spoke to The Tribune days after the teen son of Environment Minister Romauld Ferreira was found dead in the family home, in what police say is a suspected suicide.

“That is an explosion for the family to deal with and it is an explosion for our little culture,” Dr Allen said in regards to coping with a tragedy like this.

“You have to go to prayer, you have to reach out to your other children and reach out to your family.

“A child’s suicide is a national tragedy, because when our young people see no futurity, that means that something has happened in this society that has blocked their view of hope. When a child is hurt, the society has a big hurt.”

Asked about suicidal signs, especially in a young person, Dr Allen said sometimes these warning signals are difficult to detect.

“It is very difficult to see any signs,” he explained. “Kids can cover up anything. Kids will smile at you like everything is okay. Sometimes you cannot trust research and just ask simple questions. When you say hello to a kid and they smile, that does not mean anything.

“You have to spend time with that kid. Loving a child means time. Sometimes no matter what you are giving that kid, if you are not putting in the time, the kid does not feel loved.”

Dr Allen and his team have been working on a paper on suicides which is set to be released very shortly. He explained the mindset of teen suicide.

“Shame always produces blame,” he said. “This is not a time to blame. What (do) children do? They don’t blame parents. They are so kind, they always blame themselves. So they never think, ‘daddy has got a problem or mommy has got a problem,’ they say, ‘I am the problem.’

“A kid has three major needs. Safety, love and affirmation. Shame means Self Hatred Aimed at Me. Some kids feel like they are not enough and some feel rejected and unlovable. Some feel, if they are not affirmed, that they are a failure. Then they have deep, rooted shame.”

As Mr Ferreira’s child is a student, Dr Allen said he was particularly concerned about the effect the child’s apparent suicide would have on his classmates and peers.

“Some children can be really traumatised when faced with someone committing suicide,” he said. “We have to be very careful and get to every one of his friends or people in that class because they are all traumatised. In cases like this you see the police, you see the ambulance, but you don’t see anyone going to take care of the traumatised children.

“Now what we know from our work is, when a kid is traumatised, the trauma goes into his psyche. He might smile with you and say he is happy, but that trauma now is digging deep into his inner life. But, eventually as he gets older and he gets under a lot of pressure, two things happen, he can act out being masochistic which is suicide, against themselves, or sadistic which is hurting others or homicide.”

Dr Allen made it clear that any family can fall victim to this type of tragedy.

“The sad thing is that this is now happening with distinguished Bahamian families as well,” he noted. “What’s happening is happening to all of us now. So no family can think they are apart from this.

“The thing is that a father may scream at a child when he feels stressed. Or a mother may call him something and the kid gets into a rage and it might lead to masochistic, hurting themselves or sadistic behaviour, hurting others. This is what happens.”

Dr Allen said in order to deal with children effectively, there has to be a “community effect” involving teachers, police, psychology, psychiatrists, social workers, churches and parents all working together.

“Working alone you are not effective,” he said. “We have to work together. This is a clarion call to say, yes our culture is challenged. We need each other. You cannot raise a child alone and you cannot love alone. This is a clarion call for Bahamas to get together. Churches, let’s get together.

“The psychologists must get together with the psychiatrists. The psychiatrists must get together with the police. The police must get together with the teachers. The teachers must get together with the social workers. We all have to come together.”