The Tribune

Since the murder of a young mother and her daughter, the issue of domestic violence has been getting more attention in the media.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and we have too many reasons to be concerned about this pervasive issue that continues to plague us.

In women’s rights spaces, domestic violence is the “no-brainer”. Most people easily agree it is wrong, should not happen and needs to be addressed. Still, it is difficult to get people in positions of power to take specific actions to end this scourge.

In March, when lockdowns and curfews began, concern was raised about domestic violence. Advocates all over the world warned governments that everyone would not be “safe at home”. Many people - one in three women - would be stuck at home with abusers. Not only would people be spending more time together at home, but there would be little opportunity for escape.

Many people experiencing domestic violence do not leave right away. Most of them are unable to leave right away. In many cases, they leave the home for a “cooling off period”. Some people are able to read the signs that violence will erupt and preemptively get out of danger, but when movement is restricted or curfews are in place, there are less opportunities to take such measures.

Knowing this, we sounded the alarm. Journalists started specifically asking, at COVID-19 press conferences, about the issue of domestic violence and how it would be handled. There was never a real answer. It was clear the Office of the Prime Minister and the Ministry of Health had given no consideration to the impact its public health measures would have on another public health crisis - domestic violence.

How is such an obvious issue overlooked? How do the questions from the press not prompt responsible parties to develop a response? It is as though the issue of domestic violence has existed for so long that some are prepared to accept it, or they already have. This cannot stand.

Many people turned their attention to violence against women when there were reports that rapper Megan Thee Stallion was shot by rapper Tory Lanez in July. It was said the two got into an argument and Megan wanted to get out of the vehicle.

When police became involved at the scene, Megan did not tell them she had been shot. This has been repeatedly used against her. She later said she did not report it to police because she did not want everyone in the car to be harmed or murdered because she alerted police to a gun being in the vehicle.

While some insist she is lying, right-minded people are aware of the effects of violence and the fear that black people in the US have of police. Megan was trying to protect everyone in the car, and she held her silence until Lanez started spreading lies. She used Instagram Live to address the situation revealing she “suffered gunshot wounds, as a result of a crime that was committed against [her] and done with the intention to physically harm [her].” She did not name Lanez.

On Saturday, October 3, Megan Thee Stallion was the guest performer on Saturday Night Live and she used that opportunity to make a statement. The backdrop for her performance said “Protect Black Women”. It started with a recording of activist Tamika Mallory saying: “Daniel Cameron is no different than the sellout that sold our people into slavery.” Mallory was talking about the Kentucky Attorney General who failed to indict the police officer involved in the murder of Breonna Taylor who was shot five times in her apartment.

Megan Thee Stallion said: “We need to protect our black women and love our black women, because at the end of the day, we need our black women.” She added: “We need to protect our black men and stand up for our black men, because at the end of the day, we tired of seeing hashtags about black men.” During the performance, an excerpt of Malcom X’s 1962 speech “Who Taught You to Hate Yourself?” played.

Megan’s is an experience that may seem too specific to be common, but its elements are not unusual. She was trying to protect everyone in the vehicle from police violence so she did not report the crime perpetrated against her. There are many women who do not report domestic violence or intimate partner violence for similar reasons. The perpetrator may provide most of the household income and reporting them could negatively impact children and other dependents. Megan also experienced very public rebuke for speaking up about Lanez’s actions, responsibility being placed on her for his reputation and that of black men in the US.

Here, some women do not report or press charges because it is such a small place and it can feel easier to keep things quiet and not risk being seen as a liar or contributing to negative perspectives about specific people or groups of people. Even when experiencing violence, far too many women are not able or willing to think only of themselves and their own safety.

These are just some of the reasons we need better systems and people in place to prevent and respond to domestic violence. We need to think about what we can do to make it easier for people to report, reconsider what justice looks like and be open to survivors’ interpretations of it, and maintain privacy and confidentiality. We are still in a place where women are blamed for the violence they experience rather than supported in accessing safety in ways that are reasonable, realistic and comfortable.

Everyone will not be able to take to a major stage to deliver a strong message about supporting survivors and not everyone will see or receive those messages, so decision-makers need to close the gap.

Domestic violence is a problem and it proliferates without intervention. We need to demand intervention. We need to make it clear domestic violence will not be excused, to assure survivors they will be supported and not blamed, and to hold decision-makers accountable for what they leave undone, especially when they have been warned.