The Tribune

By JEFFARAH GIBSON

Tribune Features Writer

jgibson@tribunemedia.net

WITH 2022 almost upon us, many people are plotting and thinking about what goals they want to accomplish in the new year. For some, this may mean exercising more, getting organised financially, travelling more (if the pandemic ever ends), taking a professional development course or getting aligned spiritually. However, several Bahamian women are turning their attention to a different area: dating.

Actual dates, for some of these women, have been few and far in between. That has of course been in part to COVID, but some of them have simply been too busy to give dating any serious consideration. And some of them simply did not have the courage to dip their foot in the dating pool. However, they hope to reach their dating goals in 2022, with some planning to take a stab at it as soon as New Year’s Eve.

“I’m getting dressed, putting on my makeup and going out on New Year’s. My hope is to maybe meet someone,” said Randia.

As a mother-of-two, she said it can be difficult finding time for herself or tim to engage in social activities, but it’s definitely on her list of resolutions she’s making this year.

“I have neglected myself for a long time. I have been focused on my kids and career. It’s hard and I’m doing well in those areas, but I realise I rarely get time to enjoy myself, so my relationship life has been suffering. So I said that I would be more intentional about going out. I will accept more invitations for dates, just so I can see what is out there. I can’t find my future staying inside,” she told Tribune Woman.

Michelle finds herself in a similar position, however, she wants to try out online dating.

“I like to call it getting into a bigger pool to swim in. I have dated many Bahamian men, but unfortunately it hasn’t been working out too well. So I figure I should expand my horizon and maybe try dating online,” she said.

Michelle said knowing her struggles when it comes to dating, friends have long since encouraged her to set up a profile on a dating site. She has always refused. Until now.

“I never wanted to be on a dating site. But now my mindset has changed and I’m becoming more open about it. I know several people who found great matches online. Some of them are no longer together, nevertheless they did experience quality relationships,” she said.

Samantha, meanwhile, said she has grown very weary of the surface level relationships and desires something more substantial.

“I have only been in ‘situationships’ in recent times, all because I didn’t want the seriousness of a relationship and was afraid to get dogged out. But these relationships are tiresome and at some point you tend to desire much more. I made a resolution to end the ‘situationships’ I am in. I have ended one already and I am going to end the other because I want more. These relationships are not doing it for me,” she said.

As with any goal or resolution, in order to realise it, you require an action plan. And Samantha has already put one in motion.

“I have already deleted and blocked some people. They no longer have an ease of access to me. That is first base for me stopping and cutting all communication. I am only going to entertain men who desire the same things I desire relationship wise,” she said.

Natalie said she wants to be more careful about who she lets into life.

”My New Year’s, and everyday, resolution is to notice to red flags sooner: people who drink too much – pretty self-evident; who are talkers, not doers – actions do speak louder; who are not emotionally available – still stuck on an ex; who aren’t good communicators – passive-aggressiveness is not for me, and so on,” she said.

“Oftentimes, it is easy to be charmed by someone and overlook these things or think they’ll go away, but they usually won’t... I want to be someone’s girlfriend, not their life coach.”

As for Melanie, her dating goals are slightly different. “I’m going to get help. My last relationship brought to surface anger issues that I did not even knew I had, and that is something I really want to work out. I find that intimate relationships tend to push your buttons in ways like nothing else, so I need help with this. I cannot walk into a new relationship with the same attitude and the same struggles. I believe growth should take place,” she said.