EDITOR, The Tribune.
“A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right, and evil doesn’t become good, just because it’s accepted by a majority.” - Booker T Washington.
First of all, rape is not about sex. Sex has little to do with it; sex becomes the weapon, the vehicle to accomplish the desired result, which is to harm, control, embarrass, and humiliate the spouse.
Marital rape is rarely an isolated incident or attack; it often comes with other forms of abusive behaviours. It is one of the most highly under-reported violent crimes, not only damages the body but which also leaves a permanent scar in the mind of the victim, and when it occurs within the four-walls of a matrimonial home, it reduces the woman to the status of an object used merely for sexual gratification.
The uncomfortable truth we face besides a ‘rape culture’ emerge from a recent study conducted by the University of The Bahamas, which revealed the startling number of married women who had reported being raped by their spouses in The Bahamas.
So, what is marital rape?
“Marital Rape (Spousal rape) is defined as any unwanted sexual act by a spouse or ex-spouse, committed without consent and/or against a person’s will, obtained by force, the threat of force, intimidation, or when a person is unable to consent (www.lawteacher.net)
Reportedly, the sexual acts include intercourse, anal or oral sex, forced sexual behaviour with objects or other individuals, and other sexual activities that are considered by the victim as degrading, humiliating, painful, and unwanted.
Rape is a crime, be it within a marriage or otherwise. It is horrible, inhumane, and not an acceptable behaviour in any relationship.
Forced sex on one’s spouse is not an act of love, respect and support; it is an act of power and violence.
Marital rape breaks the marriage vows, and marriage does not give a spouse the license to rape his wife with impunity.
That being said, the answer to, “Can a husband rape his wife?” is a resounding YES!
And offenders come from various socio-economic status, race, ethnicity and cultural backgrounds.
Many are deemed “ordinary” “well-respected” and “normal” individuals in society.
Now, I want to be clear: most husbands in this country are moral citizens and law-abiding individuals. Despite that, there are others who assert power and control over their victims behind closed doors.
Rape is real and a victim’s voice should not be dismissed, please read this carefully: “While a murderer destroys the physical frame of the victim, a rapist degrades and defiles the soul of a helpless female.” - Justice Arijit Pasayat, Tulsidas Kanolkar v. State of Goa (2003).
This is not just a marriage issue. This is everyone’s issue.
SHERVONNE CASH-HOLLIS
Advocate,Founder
242 Domestic Violence Support Network Inc.
Nassau,
October 30, 2022.
Comments
carltonr61 2 years ago
We have to study the relationship anatomy of the Bahamian female. There are age ranges that come with emotional, sexualuzation, monetary, family plans, job dress code act, looking act, the right person hunt, peer pressure act, wisdom, Religion and morality, family history environment mental reality. By the time a female acts out various rhythms acts manipulations, being victimized then gain enough wisdom to make the right decision she may be at an age if desperation. A working, healthy Bahamian male may decide to date then possibly marry a young lady, say under 20 years of age. She may be under an ocean of complucated pressures listed above. She may decide to date for an expensive cell phone act or other dominant pressures from her peer group. There was a time when a male who displays gold chains, a Honda, pocket wads of money, then WHAM BAM She is laid. The young male with marriage intentions is overlooked and outclassed. A single man that is 28 years to 35, if not divorced, a female may inherit a 55gallon drum. And we know what does be in them. The longer a female waits to settle down the greater her risks of attaching to a defective rejected male with a dark past. A relationship must be built together the earlier the better. When females gave 'been through something ' in life that traumatized her a male could detect that glitch as live becomes rigid, stop, go, then stop as her mind seeks to repeat a mental scar. There are damaged females out there and males may get the shock of their lives after the acting stops then reality scars of the whole woman surfaces. Everyone does flam. Flam for this flam for that.
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