By EARYEL BOWLEG
Tribune Staff Reporter
ebowleg@tribunemedia.net
BAHAMAS Christian Council president Bishop Delton Fernander wants to have a “strong conversation” with pastors regarding the “horrific” data that came to light from a University of The Bahamas study on the frequency of marital rape and sexual abuse.
The study found that one in 12, or an estimated 4,000 married women, have been raped by their husbands. The study suggested that around 6,000 wives claimed being victims of sexual abuse.
“Horrific,” Bishop Fernander said yesterday when he was asked to give his views on the study’s findings.
“I really would like to see the approach, the data. I want to have a strong conversation with pastors in regard to the data that came out - what formulated the random study.”
As he called the acts against married women “unacceptable”, Bishop Fernander continued: “And so I think the data can be the catalyst of a strong conversation, as clergy, as I’ve spoken to the clergy - we’ve got work to do. We’ve got a lot of work to do, to reverse what’s going on in our society.”
As for the study suggesting what could be the state of marriages in the country, the BCC president admitted he did not know whether pastors could go as far as extrapolating dysfunction, but he reiterated the differing views on marriage.
“As a clergyman I’m saying work needs to be done. As I said, in my statement, marriage is an institution, it’s not a government institution - it’s a God institution and that’s why the church has to work harder. Generations see marriage differently.
“Some people see it as something to be tried and put away. We see it as something eternal, put together by God and so we’ve got to do God’s work. We can’t force people to be Christians, we can’t force people to love each other, but we could teach to the best of our ability that we gotta treat each other better.”
He argued that if marriage is done right, “God’s way,” men will respect their wives and never want to hurt them because they are “bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.
“Spousal abuse, that is taking place in society – that’s where we started. We started talking about spousal abuse, whether male or female, it’s real. And because it’s real, it’s our job to do something about it, but I can’t convince you to live a Christian life.
“I’ve been married for over 25 years. I never ever think about laying a hand on my wife or taking sex with my wife.”
Prime Minister Philip “Brave” Davis has told both married and single women to report matters of abuse to the police as a result of the university’s study. The bishop highlighted legal action as well.
“Right now, today in The Commonwealth of The Bahamas, you can go and say that you were raped and it will be laid on the file. And the proceedings will be taken to court, if you wish. I think the ruling that Justice Lewis put forth was not ever taken to court,” the president explained.
“What was taken to the court was a divorce. We want to say if you are being raped, if you are being abused, report it, start a file – I’m an ex-policeman start a file. And you might see some things work in your favour that you don’t think works in this country.”
“This,” he added, “is why our centres are important because our centres tell you your options. This is why (the Department of) Social Services is important. Sometimes people just don’t know. They don’t know their options. They don’t know what they could do. They don’t know what the law allows for. Anytime there’s any kind of abuse in a marriage, you have the right to go to the station and file a report.”
There have been mixed reactions in the religious community on the topic of marital rape. Bishop Fernander again acknowledged that the church is divided on the issue.
“That’s why work needs to be done, rather than just saying you’re going to Parliament to do things. We have work to do - as the press, as the church, as a nation. We just cannot write documents and think that things will change just because we put legislation in place.”
Varied opinions were expressed when the proposed Sexual Offences (Amendment) Act was presented during the Ministry of Social Services and Department of Gender and Family Affairs’ sexual offences one-day symposium, held last month.
A news interview with a pastor at the symposium drew dismay from the public when he took the position that a man cannot rape his wife.
Mr Fernander said the church is made up of people and as president he does not have the right to tell leaders what to think or what to believe, but he has a job to convince them of what is the best approach for society.
“If you are appalled at what has been said, let’s work hard at changing a generation. Maybe that leader represents a generation that thinks that way and I say, again, by demographic, by gender, by age, this splits out differently,” he said.
Comments
themessenger 2 years, 1 month ago
" Marriage is an institution, it’s not a government institution - it’s a God institution and that’s why the church has to work harder. Generations see marriage differently. Some people see it as something to be tried and put away. We see it as something eternal, put together by God and so we’ve got to do God’s work. We can’t force people to be Christians, we can’t force people to love each other, "
Bishop Fernander, just as you the church, can't force people to be Christians or to love one another nor should any civilized society nor the church recognize any individuals "right" to force another into sex because the church/pastors view marriage as "Holy Law" a skewed contract where the woman is regarded as a chattel.
To my knowledge there is no scripture in the bible that encourages, condones or exonerates marital rape or violence of any kind. Marriage is an agreement between two people and the church has nothing to do with that other than conducting the religious ceremony not to mention that just as many marriages take place in civil ceremonies outside the church so what jurisdiction does the bible or the church/pastor have over those?
There is nothing legally binding in any marriage agreement that gives one partner control over the body of the other. You Pastors need to stop living in the Stoneage viewing women as nothing more than a chattel to fry fish and give comfort and recognize that a womans rights should be the same as yours.
John 2 years, 1 month ago
Why is this man prostituting himself in this form and fashion? Firstly if he was to even take the garbage put out under the UB seal seriously ask yourself, pastor, a few questions: First if the survey was conducted to determine how many married women are being raped ( by their husbands) why does the sample of 1,700 only include 400 married women? That is about only ten married women being interviewed for every major island in the country. Secondly, if you taking this perverted survey as gospel, how many married women in your congregation, pastor, have been raped ? Based on this survey are you agreeing that one in every twelve married women in your church have been raped by their husbands? Does your congregation support you in accepting the results of this survey as gospel? Finally , the Bible says when two people bare joined together in Holy Matrimony, they become one flesh. The proposed marital law says ‘not so’. A spouse ( the survey focuses on husbands) must verbally request and get permission to do anything ( sexually or stimulating) to his wife, including kissing and caressing, else it’s considered assault or rape in some instances. How many in your congregation, pastor agreed that a husband or spouse must get verbal permission to give physical stimulation to their spouses or to initiate the sex act or consummation even.
John 2 years, 1 month ago
Some of the people pushing this law doesn’t just want to be separated from their spouses Divorced ( ok say husbands since that is who the survey focused on as being rapists and potential rapists) they want their husbands put away. Jailed. Then they ( the un jailed spouse) can live the single life with the dignity of being married. The experts say rape is not a crime if sexual gratification but a crime of violence. The laws of marriage already allows for a marriage to be dissolved on the grounds of physical abuse or cruelty.
tribanon 2 years, 1 month ago
This guy is beginning to sing an entirely different tune since he noticed women leaving his church in droves and the significant fall off in money contributed to his pockets by hardworking women who no longer want anything to do with him or his church. But his chauvinistic and sick minded belief that a married woman cannot be raped by her husband has not changed one bit.
carltonr61 2 years, 1 month ago
https://www.soencouragement.org/divorce…
According to government data. 85% of our church women have children out of wedlock. The women's group need to fix our 85% fornication rate with fatherless children that has destroyed this nation. According to government statistics above, the drugs 80s money saw a jump in unwed births. Our national marriage rate is hard on husbands because singke females are jumping all over you. It is hard to accept that data as females are so aggressive and willing to get pregnant. UB data is not up to parental and I will have it reviewed at Springer, which I have submitted material too. UB DATA MUST BE PEER REVIEWED or publicly rented and retracted. An accredited University cannot shape national policy. University of Miami or a regional body should assist this sub primary school audit on marriage. The world reads these online blogs. UB should be held accountable as this type of nonsense do extreme harm to The Bahamas as a space for education.
carltonr61 2 years, 1 month ago
UB should be the proper venue for academic research in the national interest, but seems it only responds to certain special interest directives as a few years ago I presented Mr. Fielding and UB staff with my Problem Gambling (PG) Screen. That PG is a global social disease with the destructive force of the cocaine substance I figured it would be deemed a national interest. The Screen was based on WHO International Classification of Diseases (ICD) that unlike The American Association of Psychiatry DSM-5 classification of PG the same behavioral results as cocaine substance allows for Global flexibility in interpretation due to cultural or regional nuances. UB's team at the meeting along Provost, Davis admitted that my project was worthy of proper study but a Financial Grant would be required because of the need for statisticians in order to get data that could be tested and peer reviewed for accuracy. The PG Screen is being used worldwide as it is free on Amazon. Both Governments and Gaming Association refuse to look at it. The Screen met criteria for Research at Springer Research and was submitted across the world for peer review. My Lived Experience with Addictions added to Canadian Association of Public Health, Gambling Certifications and membership got me promising reviews and an acknowledgement as Professor.
I got zero collaboration from UB so it amazes many how of the 15% married mothers of The Bahamas' population a wife or husband being hand massaged to private areas is deemed in the National Interest as criminal.
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