The Tribune

By ALICIA WALLACE

IT has been 50 years since The Bahamas became an independent nation, and we continue to struggle with the concept and the practice of unity. There are frequent calls for us to “come together as a people” and to “be united”, usually aimed at standing against an issue or proposed action or, less frequently, getting numbers in support. Generally speaking, however, we lack unity as Bahamians and residents of The Bahamas. We find more reasons to be apart and in opposition to one another than we find to be together, on the same page, in alignment, and united. This may be due, in part, to the fact that it is often much easier to position oneself as against something than it is to identify and name what one supports. It could also be that we are trained, from childhood, to be mean to friends and strangers alike, both as a side excuse for hunger and as weak attempts showing wit.

Last week, I was in conversation with a young Bahamian and a visitor who had spent a few weeks in The Bahamas. We had just witnessed a funny debate among a group of young people about a popular product. Having bonded during their time together in an intensive programme, they were careful to be respectful of one another while sharing their opposing opinions as convincingly as they could to win the argument. On the sidelines, the three of us talked about pressing issues in The Bahamas, particularly related to gender inequality in the law. We talked about the disadvantages women face, the ways those disadvantages affect other people, and how the issues are discussed in different spaces.

The visitor wanted to know what we considered to be normal interactions within and between groups of people. We talked about the expectation that we put up with whatever the circumstances happen to be and accept our lots in life, and how this connected to the idea that the people who complain about the issues are the problem. There is little attention to power dynamics or the impact of circumstances and the continued failure to change them.

Interestingly, the young Bahamian noted that excessive “teasing” seems to be a part of Bahamian culture. We gave the visitor examples of the ways that what we tend to call “teasing” is hurtful and embarrassing, and our first experiences of cruelty are usually at home, with our families, where we are supposed to experience love and feel protected. As long as the cruelty can be called “teasing”, there seems to be no rules or limitations. From physical appearance to academic performance, nothing is considered out of bounds. The comments made by adults to children, and about them in their presence, form some of people’s core beliefs about themselves and their capabilities. We come to understand that the whatever makes us different is what makes us vulnerable, and we need to either change or hide those differences to avoid being singled out and humiliated.

We told the visitor about the supposed need for “thicker skin” and to ignore the way we feel in order to maximize the enjoyment of other people, even at our own expense. We recognised that what often passes for humour is actually cruelty, and is one of the best demonstrations of the misunderstanding of love — what it is, and how it feels. When this is considered, it is no surprise that violence is so often (mis)interpreted and misconstrued as positive. There is no need to wonder why many people enter relationships and are unable to identify red flags because cruelty was normalised all of their lives.

Teasing, like bullying, is a way of othering. People hyperfocus on one characteristic, often exaggerating it, translate it into negative terms, and present it as a joke for others. Sometimes the targeted person excluded, and sometimes they are expected to participate in their own humiliation by pretending they are not hurt by it. This behaviour is allowed to continue, in the home, at school, in the workplace, on social media, and anywhere else that people gather and interact. Humour is not a requirement, so people can highlight differences without the effort of even a pseudo-joke. Difference as a weakness is not new. It has always been a part of the colonial project, and it has successfully created divisions. The examples of this are endless. We can look at the way Haitian people are treated, just for being Haitian. We can look at the way we treat religious minorities, people with disabilities, people struggling with addiction, people experiencing poverty, and LGBTQI+ people. No matter what we have in common, from nationality to constituency, from educational background to family members, it is the difference that draws attention and commentary, and the response to the difference that often breeds hostility and violence. We are much better practised in noting differences, creating distance, and launching attacks based on difference than we are at fostering a sense of unity with attention to commonalities and community-building.

Both the national anthem of The Bahamas, March On, Bahamaland, and the pledge to the flag of The Bahamas call us to unity. A line of the national anthem says, “Pledge to excel through love and unity,” and a line of the pledge says, “One people, united in love and service.” Even the motto on the coat of arms, “Forward, Upward, Onward, Together,” carries the theme of unity. We recited them fairly well, but we do not often consider the words, their meaning, or our own responsibility as people who have inherited, accepted, and pronounced them.

We do not have to be the same to be united, but we do have to reject the idea that our differences must separate us, and that our differences can or do make any of us more or less important or more human than anyone else. Even the concept of our differences has to be closely considered. It is not that one person or group of people is different. The difference is shared by all of us. The person with the blue hair isn’t just different on their own. We are different from them with our hair that is not blue too. The burden of the difference does not need to be and stay on one person. We share differences just as we share similarities.

Unity is being together, a whole, as one. Unity is not the same as uniformity. The former is about oneness while the latter is sameness. It is easy to make the mistake of conflating the too, due in no small part to the ease with which people can unite when they are or perceive themselves to be the same, at least in what they consider to be the most important ways. Uniting as a bunch of people who are the same does not have the same significance as people uniting as people who have and acknowledge their differences.

Our laws tell us that women are less Bahamian than men. Generations of parenting have convinced many of us that children are less sentient than adults. Elitism has led us to believe that the wealthy and the highly educated are inherently better than everyone else. Christian fundamentalists would like us to believe that Christians are entitled to more of The Bahamas than people of other faiths and no faith. LGBTQI+ people are mischaracterised to stoke fear and incite violence, even by people who preach love and peace. From these examples, we can see that difference is not even necessarily about the majority. It is about (ancient) norms, old, unchanging systems and practices, and power. It has been used against us and we have been trained to wield it against each other, preventing unity.

What does it cost you for someone else to exist in a way that you do not? How does your discomfort with someone’s presentation or behaviour lead you to disrespect them? Which differences scare you, and why? What are the difference that make you feel inferior, and how do you behave in order to feel superior? As we continue on this pothole-ridden road to 50, how have you impeded (attempts to bring) unity? What are you prepared to do to move us toward unity?

Uniformity has not been a stated goal for a long time, but it seems to be in many minds — another marker of the unfortunate success of the colonial project. Uproot it from yours. Stop expecting and only accepting sameness. Push yourself to practice empathy and curiosity, to embody love, and to aim for unity. Be truly excellent as one of many people, holding many differences, with love and unity as vehicles moving us toward a common loftier goal.