The Tribune

By ALICIA WALLACE

Yesterday, December 10, was Human Rights Day and the final day of the Global 16 Days Campaign, also known as 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence. A series of virtual and in-person events was hosted by Equality Bahamas, focused on rage and (anti-)resilience. We have been talking about the ways we experience and acknowledge our emotions, the ways we do not, and the consequences in both cases.

These events and direct engagement with people from various walks of life makes it clear that we need more time and space to be in conversation with one another. At Writing Our Rage: A workshop with Staceyann Chin, themes of family, work, friendship, and forgiveness came up. There was considerable space for sharing, and we all struggled, to varying degrees, to find the words for what we feel and what is encapsulated by rage. For many of us in The Bahamas, it seems easier to ignore our feelings, and to go along with whatever is happening or appears to be the norm. We have learned to find workarounds, assuming that there is no way to build or share the new reality we need. Since we can’t do what we want, we must at least try not to do what we do not want to do.

In the writing workshop, we talked about the problems we see in the world around us, but hyper-focused on The Bahamas. When we talk like this, it is almost as though we believe the challenges we face are unique to us and to this place. The truth is that these problems exist in many forms and in many places, some more obvious than others. We, however, as Bahamians and as residents of The Bahamas see the problems as uniquely Bahamian, specific to The Bahamas, and miss the view at the macro level.

At one point in the conversation, the question for all of us was a version of “How did/do you create or sustain the problem?” Staceyann Chin challenged us to think about our own participation in our relationships and our contributions to the dynamics we now feel that we endure rather than enjoy. We were encourage to view ourselves and our own situations as just one part of a larger world where other people also have interior lives with complications, stressors, and limitations.

Our conversations early in the campaign were about resilience and the expectation that we, as individuals, endure and overcome. It is a mark of good, strong character, the worlds tells us, to be able to go through the worst events under the most trying circumstances and not only survive, but seem happy about it. We are taught to make struggle look good, and keep pride as a priority. As human beings, however, we are not meant to do everything alone. We certainly need community to support us in difficult times. Our resilience, as we learned from author of The Resilience Myth, Soraya Chemaly, is dependent on our ability and willingness to be in community with one another, recognise (and not demonize ourselves for) our needs, ask for help, accept help that is offered. We do not all have the same struggles, so we may not all relate to one another, but it means that we have the means to help one another along using our own strengths, from know-how to resources.

Many among us have never taken the time to think about anyone who is having an experience different from, as in worse than, their own. We are deeply steeped in our own experiences. There hardly seems to be any time to look around, or to pay any attention to what anyone else has going on. That is how we miss it. The needs of the people around us. The struggle in the communities around our own. The lack of infrastructure in the parts of town we do not frequent. The insufficiency of the laws we do not use and cannot ever imagine using. The view is different from every seat in life. The feel is different too. Not feeling the blast of cold air directly on your back does not mean the air conditioning is not on, or that another person does not need a sweater.

In the writing workshop, Staceyann Chin talked about the importance of working together, despite personal difference. It is easy, in small places, to dismiss people in every aspect of life, including the professional, when there are negative experiences in personal relationships. This makes it difficult to carry on any work that we are supposed to do together. We were challenged to find ways to end relationships without completing divorcing ourselves from those people who have value beyond the personal engagement we used to have with them. The work of changing mindsets and environments toward a peaceful, equitable future is too important to succumb to the personal failings that result in severed relationships.

There is work to do, and it needs everyone’s willing hands in it. Some of us approach this work with deep love for every rocks in this archipelago and the people on them while others come to it with the bitter taste of too many wrong to count that have made our lives hell. From these very different places, we meet at the work site.

There are things that should have never been, and those must go. There are things we do no need any more, and those must be released. There are things that have gone missing that need to be found or created anew. There are things are have yet to be and that wait for us to dream them, to plan them, to bring them to fruition.

The work ahead of us is great and it is demanding. We have to burn, to chisel, to cut, to sand, to treat, to polish, to dust. We, as a people, have to do this work every single day. We, as individuals, need to see our part, answer the call, and be able to tap in and tap out, knowing that there are others doing their part too, and picking it up when we need to step back. This is community. This is a collaborative effort. This is what it takes to transform.

Nikki Giovanni was a world-renowned poet, activist, and educator. She was born on June 7, 1943, in Knoxville, Tennessee, and she died on December 9, 2024. Her poetry is here to stay.