The Tribune

by ALICIA WALLACE

Monday, November 25, is International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, the first day of the Global 16 Days Campaign which was started by a group of activist women at the Center for Women’s Global Leadership in 1991. The campaign is now also known as 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, branded as such by UN Women which is large enough to overshadow the original campaign and its activist origin. The Global 16 Days Campaign runs until December 10 which is Human Rights Day.

Gender-based violence is a persisting issue that the Government of The Bahamas has yet to truly address, instead running away from it and trying to avoid challenging conversations. We, the advocates for gender equality and legal reform to end gender-based violence, are consistently told, both implicitly and explicitly, that we need to make the issue popular. If we want legislators—the people we elect to work for us and who form the government which has human rights obligations—to take specific action, we need to convince the general public first, then present our numbers to convince them (whose job it is to protect, uphold, and expand human rights).

Successive governments have refused to take steps toward a referendum on nationality rights and sex-based discrimination, refused to criminalise marital rape, and refused to pass the long-awaited gender-based violence bill. The Attorney General even said, in an attempt to excuse the passing of the garbage Protection Against Violence Act, that the gender-based violence bill was “confusing.” We, somehow, continually end up with government administrations that are comprised of people who too weak, too ignorant, too misogynistic, too afraid to stand for women’s rights and to not only speak about upset caused by gender-based violence, but take action and pressure colleagues to take action to address the issue.

We have seen horrific news stories. We know about the women who have been killed by partners and ex-partners. We know of the many women who are in abusive households and do not see a way out, especially after being shrugged off by police and having no clear path to safe, long-term housing and broader social assistance when it is unsafe to return to work. The Bahamas Women’s Health Survey Data has confirmed that domestic violence and intimate partner violence are experienced by women and girls at high rates, and that many of them do not report. Gender-based violence persists because violence is widely accepted, the erroneous idea that women are inferior to men and are to be subservient is not sufficiently challenged (particularly by people in positions of power and influence like religious leaders and legislators) there are significant barriers to reporting gender-based violence (including the incompetence and indifference of many police officers), access to justice does not appear to be a likely outcome of a painful, expensive judicial process, and there is no real support for survivors.

Sixteen days of activism is nowhere near enough to address the issue of gender-based violence. Activism must be integrated into every single day, and by right-thinking individuals. This campaign is a period to put the spotlight on this issue, the knowledge that has been produced, the models that are working in other parts of the world, and the potential and path to transform society and eradicate gender-based violence.

This year, people all over the world are attentive to a trial currently underway in France. Gisèle Pelicot has become a well-known name since the news that her then husband Dominique Pelicot had been drugging, raping, and inviting other men to rape her for a decade. He recruited strangers from an online forum known as “without her knowledge,” inviting them to the house where Ms. Pelicot, drugged, was asleep. He recorded the acts of violence. The recordings were found, in a folder named “abuse,” by police when they confiscated and searched his electronic devices after he was caught upskirting women—taking photos from beneath their skirts without their knowledge—in public. This is how Ms Pelicot came to know of the dozens of men who were in her bedroom, raping her at the invitation of her husband.

Dominique Pelicot intended to rape his wife, and he intended for other men to rape her. He drugged her to make this happen. He recorded it. The recordings were in a folder labeled abuse. These points bear repeating because it needs to be clear that rape is not accidental. The perpetrator makes a decision to be violent. The perpetrator knows it is wrong. The perpetrator does not care that it is wrong.

The repeated drugging made Gisèle Pelicot ill. She was not feeling well and was experiencing cognitive effects. She and her children thought it was cognitive decline due to a brain tumor or Alzheimer’s, and she underwent many medical exams. The rapist in her house watched as she suffered, as she feared, and as she tried to find out why she was experiencing memory loss and blackouts. He continued to drug and rape her, and he continued to invite other men to rape her while he watched, instructed, and recorded them.

Police were able to identify 50 men from the video footage, and they are now charged with rape. Some of them insist that they are not guilty of rape. They claim they did not know that Gisèle Pelicot had been drugged. They claim Dominique Pelicot told them her being asleep was a part of the agreement.

One of the men, who still has not admitted to raping Gisèle Pelicot, told police that he only realised the situation was “dodgy” when she started to move and Dominique Pelicot looked nervous. He had been invited to the house by Dominique Pelicot who told him to touch Ms Pelicot who, he claimed, had taken sleeping pills as a part of a sex game. Philippe said he was uneasy, but ultimately decided to penetrate Ms. Pelicot.

“I am expressing my regrets to Ms Pelicot… I only realised once I was in jail that I should’ve done something.”

“As the husband had given me permission, in my mind she agreed to it.”

“Now that I am being told how the events unfolded, yes the acts I committed would amount to rape.”

“I put my conscience aside… I was thinking with my sexual organ instead of with my brain.”

These are the words of some of the men who are now on trial.

These are men with family members who engage with them every day and have no idea that they are rapists. There are people in their lives who likely viewed them as “nice” people, as “protectors,” and as “good guys,” yet the truth now in their faces.

As Gisèle Pelicot said, “A rapist is not just someone you meet in a dark car park late at night. He can also be found in the family, among friends.”

These men are vile. They violated a woman in the way women fear most and from which we are taught to protect ourselves. Women are encouraged to marry, to have someone to protect us, yet they are often the ones who betray us. This man, Dominique Pelicot, invited other men to join him in acts of violence against the same wife we accompanied to doctors appointments as she worried about cognitive decline that he knew was due to his drugging her.

At one point during the trial, Gisèle Pelicot said, “[…[By the way, I want to point out, that I don’t forgive him. His actions were unforgivable. I was betrayed and fooled.”

This is affirming to women and girls all over the world who are survivors of gender-based violence, and who have been pressured to forgive. Who people have tried to convince that it “wasn’t that bad.” Who people say need to “let it go.” It is affirming for the women who called the police, only to be told that nothing can be done since the rapist is her husband. For the women who live in countries as misogynistic as this one, where marital rape is not criminalised. Survivors do not owe perpetrators forgiveness.

Though she had the right to anonymity, Gisèle Pelicot waived it, choosing to have an open trial. “It’s not for us to have shame, it’s for them,” she said. This week, she noted that, due to the open trial, she “can feel the tiredness.”

Dominique Pelicot was arrested on November 2, 2020. The trial started on September 2, 2024. The trial is expected to come to a close on December 20, 2024. Though Gisèle Pelicot said, “I don’t think I’ll ever feel at peace until the end of my life,” may the final outcome be execution of the law to the greatest extent, and may the support from women all over the world continue as she carries on with what she said she will have to do. “I’ll learn to live with it. I’ll rebuild myself.But there’ll forever be 51 people who have defiled me. And I will have to live with this for the rest of my life.”

RECOMMENDATIONS

• Global 16 Days Campaign with Equality Bahamas. The Campaign begins with a conversation with Soraya Chemaly, author of The Resilience Myth, about the way society expects and prizes resilience of the individual and the ways we need to shift our concept of resilience to understand it as a community trait and systemic requirement rather than a character strength everyone must have or pretend to have. Register to join at tiny.cc/16daysmyth. Check out the full event lineup at lu.ma/16days24

• Kickstart goals for 2025. January is a rough time to start anything new. The new calendar year seems like the ideal time to start, but it is right on the heels of the holiday season, money is usually tight, and there is the work of getting back into the groove. Set those goals now so you can start building the habits you need to practice to work toward them in December. Consider it a test run, or think of it as a warmup. Set the goals, start the work, and set yourself up for success in January and beyond.