The Tribune

EDITOR, The Tribune. 

Have you noticed that when we discuss gender affairs, the focus is always on women and children, as if men are not the other gender who require attention for the challenges they face? It is a sign of how men and their needs are taken for granted in our society.

Our men are hurting. Regard being had for mental illnesses that can affect both males and females, today’s growing number of suicides and suicide attempts by men in The Bahamas suggests that our men are struggling to find their place and purpose, and are hurting in ways society is not giving them ample safe spaces to talk about and seek healing for.

Society is pretty heartless when it comes to a man’s struggles. Men are expected to be impervious. As such, our attitude toward a man’s pain and fears is that he should just suck it up, figure it out and go cry somewhere else because no one wants to hear a man whining about his issues.

Culture dictates what it means to be a man. With The Bahamas’ national crisis of fatherlessness (wherein far too many homes do not have a present and active father), most boys are growing up lost. A mother, for all her love and support, cannot teach a boy how to be a man. Our boys are growing up confused about who they are, what manhood entails, and what to do if you fail to meet the standards of manhood one’s family and society have set.

And that failure can have grave consequences. When a man cannot adequately provide for his family, when society tells men their only value is in the money we get from them either as mates or fathers, and when a man cannot find meaning or success in his work or his place in society, he can develop feelings of uselessness - a leading feeling behind many male suicides.

Adding significant insult to societal injury are contemporary cultural shifts that demonize manhood, paint men as unnecessary, frame masculinity as toxic, and promote the view that men should be considered threats or miscreants by default. Additionally, western educational systems have structured schooling in ways that cater more to how girls learn and socialise. It would be instructive to analyse learning experiences of boys and girls in our educational system to understand and address gender-based differences, as well as attitudes and gender stereotypes that could be negatively impacting learning and achievement levels of male students.

We are losing so many of our men to deadly violence. But we are losing even more of our men who are still alive, but feel dead inside. The pressure to measure up and be somebody can be intense. Many males are checking out because they feel powerless to change their circumstances. And many of them are lashing out or engaging in self-destructive behaviors because they do not know what to do with emotions they have never been taught by other men to channel in productive ways.

Strong men and fathers are essential for a stable society. We must take a researched and compassionate look at our men and their needs. And we all need to pay more attention to the men in our lives, the pressures they face, and the pain they feel that is no less important or consequential than the pain of a woman.

SHARON TURNER

March 16, 2025.