The Tribune

By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

MY youngest son Andoni and I were playing catch the other day.

I made a terrible throw that sailed over his head.

I said, “Sorry, that was a crappy throw.”

He stops, gives me a kind look and says, “No daddy, that was a wonderful throw.”

Then takes two steps towards getting the ball, stops again, turns back around and said, “When we say something nice, even when we don’t mean it at all, that’s called being polite, right?”

The father inside of me was perturbed, the comedian in me was laughing hysterically.

Through the remainder of the week, that seemed to be the theme, “smart mouthed millennials” with zero filter.

On to the doctors office, for routine check ups. It’s one of the few places my sons love to put on their best behaviour, because they love Dr Bassett.

While waiting to be seen, and being totally dumbfounded by my progenies, quiet good behaviour, I got to take in other parents suffering with their offspring.

The nurse was asking a precocious little five-year-old girl, all the standard coordination type questions – touch your nose, put your hands up, jump, etc.

Being a healthy capable little rascal, she did everything fine.

Then, the nurse says, “stand on one foot”.

The little girl looks at the nurse, looks down, and without hesitation, stands on the nurse’s left foot, and says “Like this?”

In the food store on the checkout line, a father is holding his three-year-old son, who looks back at me, dead in my eye and says: “Nipples. I love ’em. What about you?”

With this totally serious expression.

It took major effort for me to remain composed and not go straight into “comedian” mode.

All the while I tried to make it look like I was taking his question seriously.

If that wasn’t enough, on my way to pick up my sons from their class rooms, I overheard while passing the first grade class room :

“Well when my Mom and Dad practice wrestling I get to eat a whole bowl of ice cream and watch whatever movie I want on Netflix.”

That one was an instant classic, on multiple levels.

My wife and I decided to give our oldest son, a time-out from ‘Fortnite’ and other video games of the like.

After a while, I went to check on him and found him building w/Legos.

I told him that I was proud of him for listening, I asked him what he was building.

He told me he was building an ultimate Lego weapon so that he could destroy me.

I think he may have missed the point, but at least he’s persistent, and once again, the father inside of me was perturbed, the comedian in me was laughing hysterically.

In closing, I must admit I’m no better, I happened to be at my dad’s house while penning this week’s column, (yes, I was fleeing from my sons).

He asked me what is this week’s column about, and after learning this topic reminded me where my sons got it from.

Apparently when I was four, my dad told me that he had told me once “I don’t ever want to see you do that again,” and I responded with “okay, you better close your eyes”.

He said he knew from that moment that I would be either a comedian, or end up in jail.

Or both!!

There’s an old saying: “Out of the mouths of babes, come words of wisdom.”

Safe to say in 2019, it’s a whole lot more than that!